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Sunday, September 28, 2008

Book of The Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 2:

1. And his father gave him command that he should take a woman out three out of four weeks in every month.
2. And the man of little consequence, being without skills and employ, thought to himself, "This is a hard thing he asketh... I cannot propsper."
3. But after some time, he began to remember the words of his own mind that were based upon real scripture, but still quite as silly as this blog; thus were the words, "I will go and do the things which my father has commanded, for I know he commands no such thing save I can do the thing, unless the thing being relating to females."
4. So he resolved upon a strategem to write the names of certain females and covenant with himself that should he meet these females on campus, he would surely get their number or die. And these were the names of the females:
5. Thou thougtest that he would give up some classified information, didst thou?

6. And the day came that he went to the library and kept these things in his heart.
7. Behold, there was one of the girls of the aforementioned "list"!
8. But Satan whispered in his heart, "She thinkest that thou art a creep, and speakest with her friends to avoid thy gaze. Perhaps another time will come when the meeting will not be so awkward."
9. So the man of little consequence moved on and pretended as if he did not see her. And when he had sat down to do his homework, there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, much to the chagrin of the others in the library.

10. This is the most recent account of the man of little consequence. Perhaps it is true, perhaps not.
11. Nevertheless, gird up thy pants and go forth, and let us continually go about this work with good fortune; for there is one yet in the land who will the see the man as more than just a little consequence...
12. Or so is the belief...

Baby Namer

So, this baby-namer.com or whatever the pants the site is... when you type a name in, it tells you the origin and famous people and whatnot, and it also lists drawbacks, or names your kid might get called in school. Some of my drawbacks listed were: "Toddy potty, re-Todd, Toddles, Toddy-wad, Toad..." Sound familiar? I GOT CALLED THEM ALL!! Thanks mom and dad, and whoever else opted against 'Thomas'.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sickness

Wasn't it about this time last year that I was diagnosed with chronic sinusitis? I'm wondering if the doctors made that one up... but I still had that miserable cough.
Well, it's back. Hack hack wheeze wheeze... pants...
Where did I get it from? That's nobody's business but the Turks. Or maybe I should stop eating food off the ground (at least I'm pretty sure it's food, most of the time). Hey, funds are tight, I can't afford to pass up any opportunities, right?
And my 343 book still has not come in the mail. Do you know how much this hurts my grade? I can't read the book or do the homework on my own time, but am constantly having to bum off other people or the math lab. Ugh... the math lab...
I guess things could be worse... I could be without power for a week or so.
My prayers go out to you, my family. But, there is good to be taken from Ike. If you haven't realized it yet, you will soon, even if it's just the experience that will have you prepared for catastrophic future events, which are sure to come.
Perhaps there is good to be found in this little cough of mine too. You never know.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Soreness

I worked out for the first time ALL YEAR yesterday morning (like, lifting-weights-for-reals work out). Wow, it hurts... but the hurting never felt so good, know what I mean? Ya, besides the soreness and the nausea, there was a good lesson to be reminded of here. We all take hard knocks and deal with a little soreness, but then nature rebuilds itself stronger and as a result, we are stronger.
The MTC called Monday. The spot was filled, so no worky there for me... yet. They keep my application for a year, so if something opens up, then hoorah. Yet I am still unemployed. How does custodial sound? I hear they're always hiring...
I took my exemption exam for Physical Science on Monday too. I got a 71... that' s good enough to not have to go class anymore, but it's not something I want to affect my GPA. I guess I'll be taking the final.
And this being just the third week of school, I already am lost in the woods with this Linear Algebra business. Nothing I can't handle with the Lord's help, but for the moment it's a little frustrating.
I guess I was having so much fun this semester that I had forgotten about the down times on this emotional roller coaster we call life. No matter, all is well.
That'll do donkey. pants.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

How Bad Can We Beat This Into the Ground?

I kind of feel sorry for UCLA, really. After BYU spanked them and took away their birthday, and then broke Kevin Craft's spirit in half, threw it on the ground and took a deuce on it, and characteristically injured eight plus players. Has anybody noticed that when we play someone, they have a lot of guys on the ground after everyone else gets up? So ya, BYU pulled their pants down so they tripped on them and face-planted, and broke their nose, jaw, and a multitude of teeth! BYU devoured them like a hungry poly at Hometown Buffet! BYU wasn't just pouring salt into the wound by the end of the game, they were pouring salt and vinegar chips into that wound!

I'm sorry UCLA, but our football team had to make a statement. You were just the unfortunate donkey they rode to make it.

BYU pillaged their village, hurled their world, rocked thier clock, and something else that almost rhymes! BYU gave them all swirlies and ate thier homework! BYU went Chuck Norris on them! BYOB, bring your own B-Y-BOOYAH!
I could do this for days...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Good Life Hotline Ad

I just took a math quiz and guessed on every single problem... (I don't have the book yet). I got a 100. Life is good.
I got stung by a bee on my way to school this morning. Life is good.
I think I'm going to design a tee-shirt that says "I Can't Be a Seminary Teacher Unless I Get Married", and on the back it will say, "Any Takers? 832-472-2204" Life is good.
I think I got made fun of for eating a lot of noodles today. Life is good.
I wore shorts today... not pants... life is good.
I got a parking ticket reduced to ten dollars. Life is good.
Life is really good. What have I ever done to deserve such blessings?
So if you need a lift on a particularly rainy day, just give me a call (832-472-2204 toll free) for sunny smiles and cheery cheeks! And a load of cheese! I guarantee that Life Will Be Good!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Actually It's Just A Matter of Simple Arithmetic

Sometimes, when I blog, the title has absolutely no relevance to the actual blog itself. Well, then the relevance would be simply that I am relevantly random.
I'm beginning to think that 17 credit hours is a lot of work. I mean, Math 343 is a beast itself, but now I have reading out the wazoo, more math, and seminaries to visit. All in all, smells like a big batch of loser-itis is cooking up again as the library and I get to be real close... and I haven't even started a job yet.
So hold on to your pants as the blogs will be few and far between this semester, unless you really want to hear how the latest homework assignment is going. But you never know... perhaps this semester holds a few surprises in store between the cramming and dancing and possibly even...
dating?
Psshaw...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Bringing Wedgies Back into Style

Son of a Parking Ticket, it happened again!!!
I'm really happy that school is back. I mean, at first I was bummed that it was happening again this year, but now that I'm into it, things are going really well. One of my favorite things about going on to campus is seeing people... you know, the sort of people you don't keep in contact with over the summer, but when you see them at school you're like, "Hey! How was your summer? I'm thinking of starting a wedgie club, wanna join?" Anyways, I played volleyball the other day at Helaman Halls with Justin, and I didn't break my nose this time! Progress... as well I spend many hours at the Library, almost as many hours as I spend watching Lost. I'm now into the fourth season, so let's have a moment of silence for Charlie......... Back in reality, tomorrow I get to go observe a seminary lesson in Orem where Darin Palmer is the seminary principal, or something like that. Darin Palmer is a good friend of Brother Chidister's, and I met him last semester when I talked about a career in CES. Turns out they only take about 5 to 15 from BYU each year, and if they don't take you, that's it. Slim chances, so it's good to have a back-up to fall on. Or a few... apart from Math Teaching, I've considered these:
Professional Cat Herding
Professional Pirateering... Piracy... what's the correct term here? I guess I should ask Tim Curry.
Professional Promotion of the word 'Pants'
Professional Squirrel Tamer

It all sounds so good when you put 'Professional' in the front right? Ok, not really...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

'Hate' is such a strong word...

Can I just say I hate parking tickets!! I hate them! And I don't use that word a lot... it's kind of a potty word. So now parking ticket is a potty word too... or phrase. There goes thirty more dollars.
I haven't been doing much this last week or so. Lots of watching 'Lost', and when I say lots, I mean rarely leaving the room lots... I mean two seasons in two days lots... I can't help it! Every episode ends in a way that takes away your agency as you think to yourself, "Woa, yet another twist... I must see the next episode or I will be unable to function as a sedentary being." But now school has begun and work will soon (theoretically) and I will be able to kiss my lazy and care-free lifestyle goodbye, with only a twinge of remorse. It's good to not feel like a pair of torn and worthless pants.
So, anyways, I have to get my next lesson for the MTC ready. And I have to use the bathroom. Perhaps I can do them both at the same time?