Crazy Pants

Just to let everyone know:
This semester is going well, exciting things are happening... just so much now that they're not as exciting.
Anyways, I got to play on an intramural water polo team on Tuesday. We were gloriously outnumbered, but held our own as much as scoring 12 points and allowing them only 40 or so... I was goalie for the second half, where they only scored like fifteen, and mostly by girls (which count as two per score). So is that a good thing?
Lost is starting up again. Good-bye life.
And finally, typical of early semester, I am staying ahead in all my classes. Maybe I'll actually keep it up this year, considering it's mostly just a bunch of reading and writing! So far so good on all my goals for the new year (including the date machine one), but it's only been three weeks. That's like 21 days though... not bad.

No Money, No Problems

Has it really been a few weeks already back in school? Poor family... I bet you miss me somethin awful!
Well, things have happened and things have not happened. For instance, holding true to last semester, I am yet unemployed (feeling too prideful to go back to reffing or janitoring) and the blind date cancelled again. It was the same one that was supposed to happen last semester... I did find out that I know who she is, so it's not so blind. In any case, it probably is not happening anymore.
And who needs a blind date anyways? Why don't I just pick my own!? Starting Saturday!
What else ain't happenin? Math Ed. Pretty big one, eh? This is a strange and euphoric feeling of going to school and not having any math classes... it's like those days of football practice when you only dressed in grays and punted the football around, but without the football coming out of the sky and hitting you in the crotch.
I do have a new idea for my new course in life. Stupid blog, look what you got me into...
What is happening? Sledding, late night movies, broom hockey (RIDICULOUS amounts of fun), snow in my pants, a nine-foot snowman, snow, snow, snow, snow, spam, spam, bake beans, and snow... lots of basketball, lots of dancing, volleyball, and so much fun I can barely write this blog without getting up and kicking someone right in the face! And some things happen that aren't fun, like a root-canal on an infected dying tooth. Then again, I do get these HEAVY Motrin pills for that. Dude...
As Patsy puts it so well, "Always look on the bright side of life!"

I Am Officially Always Left Logged On!

"Laurel is the best person ever. Todd worships the ground she walks on. Todd also does not know how to log himself out of anything. I guess the all amazing Laurel will have to teach him. Or she can just laugh..."

-Laurel Martin

My response:

"You devious and sneaky little wretch! Next time I'm home, you're in for the pumbelling of your life! I hope your cat sheds fleas on you at night so you can lie awake itching yourself and thinking of all the rotten things you've done to your undeserving brother... I hope you miss me when I don't show up for your graduation... I hope you leave yourself logged on so someone messes with your facebook status and puts your social life in jeaopardy!

By the way, I like the idea of communications. You know, just maybe..."

- The guy with the pants on

It's Over!

So I bid farewell to the worst semester ever!
Actually, it wasn't bad at all socially. I just didn't go on any formal dates.
Let's recap on some of the instances from this semester that really defined the last three months:
1. I finish my Math 190 final yesterday, feeling pretty good and confident with my work! Hope starts to rise within me... What if I got like a 90%? I might not have to take it over again next semester! I look at the screen... 50%. Ain't that a kick in the pants... Well, see you next year, Dr. Doud.
2. Last Saturday, I'm set for my first date of the semester. My buddy Matt Yancey had set me up on such, with some girl I've never seen before. The day of, I call him to see what's the plan... "Actually, your date was hospitalized last night..." Seriously... I guess it just wasn't meant to happen. Thanks for trying though, Matt.
3. Cleaning check time for the apartment. I get failed because quote, "These floors aren't vacuumed, so I'm going to fail you." This is quoted actually as I am in the process of vacuuming the floors. Then I fail the rechecks because two days later, there's a few spots from what the weekend brought in. I know I am biased, but if you saw what caused me to fail, you would understand why there were forty plus complaints from the residents for this particular cleaning check. One of them was mine, and I am usually not one to complain. That'll probably cost me at least 25 bucks though somewhere down the road.

I guess I didn't get any parking tickets. Hoorah!
Well, I was gonna put up the lyrics to a song that I've been working on, Long Semester (to the tune of Long December), but it was really sad so I decided to just sing it out loud. Now that that's done, I'm actually smooth sailing, because tomorrow, I go home! And today, I am happy!
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, but today is a gift; that is why they call it the present."

More Cheesy Narcissism

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5 Words

"Sorry... not able to accomodate"

Thus was my career decided for CES. It ain't happenin.
So I've dealt with rejection before, but this one was a bit more final and devastating, on top of all my other botcheries this semester. One of the few things I felt went right this semester was my Intro to Seminary Teaching class, but apparently I wasn't good enough. Thus the door shuts, I'm not sure if permanently but quite possibly so, on being a seminary teacher, on doing that which I love to do most. I guess I've always got math to fall back on, right? (If only I could type how sarcastic that statement really is.)
So as much of a sucker punch that letter of not-recommendation was to my groin, after a few days of wallowing in self-pity and loseritis, I find the spirit of the season is healing me. Now I've come to grips with this not being the path meant for me, and truly believing that whatever the Lord has in store will ultimately be more rewarding. So no hard feelings, Clint Mortensen, though I wish I knew what happened after two perfect scores on my teaching experiences and twice as many seminary observations as was required. I trust the system is inspired.
And as for this great bomb of a semester, I really wish I could do it all over again. Then again, maybe I just will... at least the math classes. This could be the learning experience that gives me the swift kick in the pants I needed most.
See most of you reading this blog in a week or so!

Book of The Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 3:

1. And it was late Friday night.
2. And the man of little consequence, being without a life, dwelt at his apartment.
3. And when his roommate returned, they, being of small stature yet with mighty vertical ability, did leap the couch as a great feat of strength many times.
4. Behold, no one was injured.

5. And upon the next day, there came females into his apartment, who confirmed that the message on the window was indeed a misfire.
6. And the man of little consequence sorrowed in his heart, for he expected that such was for another, yet there was still hope... but now no more.
7. And the message was thus: 'Sub Lord', in case thou hast forgotten.

8. In that same day, the man of little consequence went to the great city of abominable fans (or as some would say, Salt Lake City) and there looked upon in the coliseum as good triumphed over evil*.
9. And then went with his friends to the place of large burgers and fries that are made without trans fat (or as some would say, Carls Jr.)
10. Because of the deal on his card of starving students, he did order not one, but two Super Stars. And they were burgers of great proportion.
11. And he being a man not of great proportion, did eat but one, and saved the other in his pocket, not of his pants, but of his jacket.

12. And his friends desired to ice skate. The man of little consequence, being unlearned in such arts, yet agreed, for he feared that they would esteem his as a man of no fun.
13. So the time came for him to entertain by doing some trick, so the man of little consequence did that which he most excelled at, even falling upon his stomach.
14. Thus the burger in his pocket became burger casserole.
15. And many other times did he fall, which, if all recorded, perhaps not even all the words on this line could contain them.

16. But one other time is worth mentioning...
17. For they journeyed on the sidewalks of the city to return to their vehicles and return home.
18. And in those days there were many pillars on the sidewalk, about half the height of the man of little consequence, and made of stone.
19. And he and his friend did leap them with ease, using their hands.
20. But as the man of little consequence ran forth toward the next pillar, his friend called out to not use his hands, and being overconfident from the previous day's leaping of the couches, he did leap exceedingly high and exceedingly early, so that he came down upon the pillar between his legs and fell on the sidewalk. And those who passed by in horse-drawn carriages laughed him to scorn and pointed their fingers saying, "Thou great fool, repeat thy folly so we may have mirth in the many seasons to come just by the memory of thy stupidity!"

21. So the weekend ended most joyously, for notwithstanding his much fun from the previous night, the man of little consequence did interact with many females on Sunday, even just saying a few words.
22. Yea! This is great progress!
23. And now, he is baffled by how so many yet toil in the library for so long. Therefore, his semester seemeth all but over.
24. And he looked forth to the coming of Christmas, when he would return to the land of warm weather, flowing with milk and home-made food, and the thought of linear algebra would leave him for a season.


*BYU beat Utah State in basketball at the Energy Solutions Arena.