And To Think I'm an Eagle Scout!

Contrary to my Facebook status, I can't say I woke up this morning looking like Quasimoto. That would insinuate that I actually slept... at all.
This whole poison oak deal turned out worse than my last post suggested. This stuff really just keeps on giving, so you never know just how bad you can get when the little red bumps first appear until they all start oozing! Hopefully you weren't eating when you read that last part.
I'll try to describe just how I look right now... think Harry Potter who got hit in the face with Hermione's stinging jinx. Think Hitch eating too much shellfish. Think Goonies.
Or rather, just check it out yourself:

Halloween comes early this year in the Martin's home. If this sticks around, I won't even have to dress up! Course, that whole Halloween dance thing is way out of the picture too.

And will somebody get these freakin' Nylons out of my head!!

and stuff

Poison Oak'd

We're in Exodus for institute, so I read about all the plagues that happened to Egypt and I was like, "I wanna have an in depth experience where I can relate to those Egyptians!" So I went and got myself covered in boils... itchy boils.
I've had poison oak two other times in my life. Luckily it's not as personal as chigger bites, but the effects are much more comprehensive with my arms and face. Now my nose is swollen and red. Can't wait for institute tomorrow!
You know, noses are funny things. Have you ever considered a nose independent of all other features on a face? It's really a funny little gadget. This is a great technique if you ever want to unattract yourself from a certain someone. Focus real hard on their nose!
Well, I gotta go try and sleep now. Ben-a-drill can really knock you out, so I'm banking on it to trump the feeling of a thousand mosquitoes feasting on my sunburnt skin.
And stuff.

Class Is In Session

If you had a pet pony, what would you name it?

A. Captain America
B. Sparkles
C. Equus Caballus
D. Ponies are for sissies... I bought a pet snake!

If you chose option A, you got sorted into the house of jocks, also known as Griffindor. Everybody wants to be a Griffindork, so congratulations!
If you chose option B, you got sorted into the house of leftovers (or maybe stoners...), also known as Hufflepuff. (Get it? Puff?) This is my house, of course*.
If you chose option C, you got sorted into the house of nerds, also known as Ravenclaw. I guess Hermione was just too cool for this house, hangin out with Mr. Popular and his plus one all the time.
If you chose option D, you got sorted into the house of goths, also known as Slitherin. I'm not sure I spelled that right... Slytherin? Anyways, congratulations, you're probably evil.

I was just thinking the other day... I'm grateful for the people who treat me bad in life. Otherwise I wouldn't have any faces to put on the Fernands, Kerrigors, Toraks, Ishamaels, Pyncheons, Iagos, and Voldemorts in my books. I'll give 1000 house points to whoever can match these antagonists to their respective series.

*Disclaimer: This is not in reference to the whole "stoner" bid, promise!

The Most Creative Game Ever Invented

So, I go on these long trips with my oldest brother's family to see my nephews play their junior league football games. On these long trips, we have a lot of fun playing whatever crazy games Uncle Todd can think up. So me and Peppermint Dragon played this awesome game that I'm pretty sure is the most creative game you could possibly play... well, at least it takes second after Calvinball.

I call it: THE SECOND MOST CREATIVE GAME EVER INVENTED!!!

Here's how you play: you think of a "What if..." question that's completely off the charts random. Then the other person has to respond with their own completely off the charts random "What if" question.
Example:

Todd: "What if I flexed my muscles and the world exploded?"

P. Dragon: "What if I had leprechauns in my pants?"

Todd: "What if our church building was made out of jell-o?"

P. Dragon: "What if I had teeth in my nose?"

And so forth.
Now, there are a few ways in which you can lose.
A. Actually responding to a "What if" question. Sometimes, it's really hard to resist this one when I ask something like, "What if every time someone sneezed, silver fire came out of my ears?" I mean, you'd want to answer that question, but as soon as you say something other than "What if" to start your turn, BUZZ!!! You lose!

B. Unoriginality. Wow, that word didn't get a red squiggly line under it! Anyways, when a player says something that is basically a regurgitation of your last "What if" then BUZZ, losify him (or her)! "What if cat meant dog?" "What if hot meant cold?" BUZZ, same concept, same structure= busted!

C. Unoriginality part deux. Sometimes, someone might try to sneak something in from a movie or something: "What if I cut down the largest tree in the forest with a herring!" BUZZZ!!! Who can name that movie! (Also, the "cat meant dog" one was from a movie, so I should've gotten buzzed by my opponent there, but he didn't catch on.)

D. Taking too long... if they can't think of a "What if" before you fall asleep from boredom, then BUZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz....

So these are the rules for the Second Most Creative Game Ever Invented. It's fun and stuff. I think you should try it on really long car trips with someone having less brains than you, cause it makes you feel really funny, smart, and BADDABING creative!!

Every Which Way

So I was sitting around thinking about what it would be like to be a bag of hot nickels, when it occurred to me... my computer froze up in Utah because it was so cold there. Then it froze on me here and that whole theory went debunkt... which is probably not a word. So I started writing my letter to Santa, asking for the usual bo-staff and Sham-wow. Then I wanted to blog about all those nay-sayers that thought my social life would go to the pits after I returned home... let me assure, I have made EXCELLENT friends... with my cats... and with NetFlix. Then I weighed myself and the scale pronounced me the heaviest I have ever been in my life: 151 lbs. Geck!! Maybe I should stop eating midnight snacks thrice a midnight. That might cure the increasingly odd dreams too... I'm just making this up as I go, really. "That's bad blog writing, Petey!!"

Post Title

So I was looking around for my car the other day somewhere in the desserts of Arizona just outside a Motel 6 when I found it atop a 30 foot cactus. Yup, my car was atop a 30 foot cactus. My immediate thought was, "This is going to be great to blog about!" Then I woke up... true story. Texas has gotten pretty routine for me, so I guess I had to wait until I was here in North Carolina to finally post again. North Carolina... try saying that without a wicked drawl... The trip was interesting because it's the first cross country trip I've ever done with a 22-foot Penske hauling a trailer with a Mustang on it. I let Jake do most of the driving. The reason I am here is not for any sort of permanence, only a week-long visit to my brother-in-law's family to help with the trip and the moving of stuff. Along the trip, I realized you can tell a lot about a state just by its billboards... like how South Carolina loves to stereotype Hispanics for the whole "South of the Border" miniature town/carnival, how North Carolina likes to label everything "All American," and how Louisiana loves their adult stores (as well as their "Boudins" and "Cracklins", which I think is some sort of Cajun cookin'). It all nearly made me appreciate the normality of Texas a little more, but then I started thinking about that... if Texas is the standard for normal...

Some Video Blurbs Not Starring Cats

My parents are in the other room watching some Christian movie starring Kevin Sorbo... I have to decide between writing on my blog and licking batteries to pass the time, so...
Mmmmmmm... double A!

I watched some of Men In Tights the other day, and by so doing, I realized that there are some parts of some movies that I could watch a THOUSAND times over, and they would still make me giggle like a college girl watching a homemade music video of herself and her friends dancing to Justin Beiber. That was a really long analogy...

Hey Abbott!!
I actually was laughing out loud at this one at the plasma clinic once, and this girl next to me was like, "I'm glad you're enjoying this..." My favorite part is right after, "In war we're tough and able!" The cat gets stepped on, consistent with the running gag of beating cats, but the sound made by this cat sounds more like an obnoxious crow getting a wedgie. You don't have to watch all of this one, just at about 2:00 when the little bald choir sings and one of them gets hit in the face... Big fat ugly bug faced baby-eating O'brien!!!

What'll I do if the kids make fun, cause I'm kinda dumb... what'll I do? Ok, they're done watching the Kevin Sorbo movie, so maybe I'll go play some tennis or find some C batteries...