A Mostly True Story

I'm at home all by myself this week.

I was eating green beans for dinner and then I was like, "Wait a minute... what am I doing?" So I fed the veggies to the cat.
The cat barfed em up. I started cleanin the barf until I was like, "Wait a minute... what am I doing?" I left the barf and went and watched some TV.
I stepped in the barf later on and started getting ready to go take a shower and then I was like, "Wait a minute... what am I doing?" I went to Taco Bell instead.
I was getting ready to pay for my 5 dollar meal with my debit card until I was like, "Wait a minute... what am I doing?" I used mom and dad's credit card.
I went to the bathroom to dispose of said Taco Bell and started to close the door until I was like, "Wait a minute... what am I doing?" I left the door wide freakin open and sang at the top of my lungs while doing my business.
As if it isn't gross enough yet, I started putting clothes on in the morning and I was like, "Wait a minute..."



Ok, in all honesty, the only true part is the home by myself and the eating of green beans. I mean, come on... did you seriously believe any of this? There's NO WAY a cat would ever eat green beans... psssshhhhh.