I Am Officially Always Left Logged On!

"Laurel is the best person ever. Todd worships the ground she walks on. Todd also does not know how to log himself out of anything. I guess the all amazing Laurel will have to teach him. Or she can just laugh..."

-Laurel Martin

My response:

"You devious and sneaky little wretch! Next time I'm home, you're in for the pumbelling of your life! I hope your cat sheds fleas on you at night so you can lie awake itching yourself and thinking of all the rotten things you've done to your undeserving brother... I hope you miss me when I don't show up for your graduation... I hope you leave yourself logged on so someone messes with your facebook status and puts your social life in jeaopardy!

By the way, I like the idea of communications. You know, just maybe..."

- The guy with the pants on

It's Over!

So I bid farewell to the worst semester ever!
Actually, it wasn't bad at all socially. I just didn't go on any formal dates.
Let's recap on some of the instances from this semester that really defined the last three months:
1. I finish my Math 190 final yesterday, feeling pretty good and confident with my work! Hope starts to rise within me... What if I got like a 90%? I might not have to take it over again next semester! I look at the screen... 50%. Ain't that a kick in the pants... Well, see you next year, Dr. Doud.
2. Last Saturday, I'm set for my first date of the semester. My buddy Matt Yancey had set me up on such, with some girl I've never seen before. The day of, I call him to see what's the plan... "Actually, your date was hospitalized last night..." Seriously... I guess it just wasn't meant to happen. Thanks for trying though, Matt.
3. Cleaning check time for the apartment. I get failed because quote, "These floors aren't vacuumed, so I'm going to fail you." This is quoted actually as I am in the process of vacuuming the floors. Then I fail the rechecks because two days later, there's a few spots from what the weekend brought in. I know I am biased, but if you saw what caused me to fail, you would understand why there were forty plus complaints from the residents for this particular cleaning check. One of them was mine, and I am usually not one to complain. That'll probably cost me at least 25 bucks though somewhere down the road.

I guess I didn't get any parking tickets. Hoorah!
Well, I was gonna put up the lyrics to a song that I've been working on, Long Semester (to the tune of Long December), but it was really sad so I decided to just sing it out loud. Now that that's done, I'm actually smooth sailing, because tomorrow, I go home! And today, I am happy!
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, but today is a gift; that is why they call it the present."

More Cheesy Narcissism

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

5 Words

"Sorry... not able to accomodate"

Thus was my career decided for CES. It ain't happenin.
So I've dealt with rejection before, but this one was a bit more final and devastating, on top of all my other botcheries this semester. One of the few things I felt went right this semester was my Intro to Seminary Teaching class, but apparently I wasn't good enough. Thus the door shuts, I'm not sure if permanently but quite possibly so, on being a seminary teacher, on doing that which I love to do most. I guess I've always got math to fall back on, right? (If only I could type how sarcastic that statement really is.)
So as much of a sucker punch that letter of not-recommendation was to my groin, after a few days of wallowing in self-pity and loseritis, I find the spirit of the season is healing me. Now I've come to grips with this not being the path meant for me, and truly believing that whatever the Lord has in store will ultimately be more rewarding. So no hard feelings, Clint Mortensen, though I wish I knew what happened after two perfect scores on my teaching experiences and twice as many seminary observations as was required. I trust the system is inspired.
And as for this great bomb of a semester, I really wish I could do it all over again. Then again, maybe I just will... at least the math classes. This could be the learning experience that gives me the swift kick in the pants I needed most.
See most of you reading this blog in a week or so!

Book of The Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 3:

1. And it was late Friday night.
2. And the man of little consequence, being without a life, dwelt at his apartment.
3. And when his roommate returned, they, being of small stature yet with mighty vertical ability, did leap the couch as a great feat of strength many times.
4. Behold, no one was injured.

5. And upon the next day, there came females into his apartment, who confirmed that the message on the window was indeed a misfire.
6. And the man of little consequence sorrowed in his heart, for he expected that such was for another, yet there was still hope... but now no more.
7. And the message was thus: 'Sub Lord', in case thou hast forgotten.

8. In that same day, the man of little consequence went to the great city of abominable fans (or as some would say, Salt Lake City) and there looked upon in the coliseum as good triumphed over evil*.
9. And then went with his friends to the place of large burgers and fries that are made without trans fat (or as some would say, Carls Jr.)
10. Because of the deal on his card of starving students, he did order not one, but two Super Stars. And they were burgers of great proportion.
11. And he being a man not of great proportion, did eat but one, and saved the other in his pocket, not of his pants, but of his jacket.

12. And his friends desired to ice skate. The man of little consequence, being unlearned in such arts, yet agreed, for he feared that they would esteem his as a man of no fun.
13. So the time came for him to entertain by doing some trick, so the man of little consequence did that which he most excelled at, even falling upon his stomach.
14. Thus the burger in his pocket became burger casserole.
15. And many other times did he fall, which, if all recorded, perhaps not even all the words on this line could contain them.

16. But one other time is worth mentioning...
17. For they journeyed on the sidewalks of the city to return to their vehicles and return home.
18. And in those days there were many pillars on the sidewalk, about half the height of the man of little consequence, and made of stone.
19. And he and his friend did leap them with ease, using their hands.
20. But as the man of little consequence ran forth toward the next pillar, his friend called out to not use his hands, and being overconfident from the previous day's leaping of the couches, he did leap exceedingly high and exceedingly early, so that he came down upon the pillar between his legs and fell on the sidewalk. And those who passed by in horse-drawn carriages laughed him to scorn and pointed their fingers saying, "Thou great fool, repeat thy folly so we may have mirth in the many seasons to come just by the memory of thy stupidity!"

21. So the weekend ended most joyously, for notwithstanding his much fun from the previous night, the man of little consequence did interact with many females on Sunday, even just saying a few words.
22. Yea! This is great progress!
23. And now, he is baffled by how so many yet toil in the library for so long. Therefore, his semester seemeth all but over.
24. And he looked forth to the coming of Christmas, when he would return to the land of warm weather, flowing with milk and home-made food, and the thought of linear algebra would leave him for a season.


*BYU beat Utah State in basketball at the Energy Solutions Arena.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now it's officially Christmas season for all those humbugs out there who don't play Christmas music until after Thanksgiving.
So! Thanksgiving was fun. The football game was good, I've noticed my best offense is a good defense, considering I almost only ever get the ball on interceptions. Everybody agreed this was a good year for the turkey bowl, especially since nobody got pantsed! *cough* michael *cough*. So here's what I was thankful for over the holiday:
1. Eating to my fill instead of eating just enough to survive.
2. My nephews who put me up twice on their 'thankful tree'. Jon didn't even make it once.
3. Not going to school.
4. Not doing tests.
5. Not doing homework.
6. Not thinking about school (unfortunately, the holidays are kind of like drinking alcohol- you forget about your problems for a while but when it's over, they're back and they've compounded... not that I'd know)
7. My cat who has stuck with me for over 16 years now. Poor guy is having epileptic siezures now... sad.
8. Euchre. I actually won something!
9. My family. Few get to see their family over Thanksgiving break. I'm glad my family loves me enough to fly me down every year!
10. My Lord, who has been altogether too good to me. It's not the first time I've said it, it won't be the last.

So ya, I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was as awesome as mine! In case it wasn't, it's ok... Christmas is right around the corner.
"There was the time we evicted the entire orphanage!"
"Oh I remember the little tikes all standing in the snow-banks"
"With their little frosted teddy-bears! DO-HOHOHOHO!"
Name that movie!

Dansport and Other Stuff

Does anyone know what integer divides 35m + 26 and 7m + 3 for some integer m?
So ya, dansport (Dance Sport) was Saturday. My partner and I had lots of fun, but as expected, and as happened last year, I didn't make it past the second round. I guess I need to put more sequins on my pants or something to catch the judge's eyes better. My good buddy Nathan Kuhn got FIRST in the Country Swing! Represent Texas, baby! It was fun, and that's all dance is for me: fun. I'm not going pro anytime soon.
I watched Kung Fu Panda three times last week, and it's still AWESOME! Who else wants to watch it with me?
The Rocket's "big three" all go down in the same game. Great... on top of that I took a test for 343 (always a bad day) and scored a 65% on the multiple choice, which got me down until class today, well the entire hour was spent with poor Mr. Humphreys fending off complaints and nags. Just do your homework people! You too, Todd!
You know, something else cool and interesting might have happened this week, but I can't recall. Thus it is... so let it be written.

Sub Lord?...

First off, I'm thinking of going public with my blog, and by that I mean putting the address up for display in a little space on my facebook. Somewhat anticipating a wider audience, I may have to revise and edit what I would normally say...
ya right.

Secondly, dance sport is Saturday. It's planned, payed for, and kinda paired off, so doesn't it count as a date Elder Oaks? I'm dancing with a girl from the stake who is actually shorter than I am, surprise! It's triple swing, and it's gonna be fun... probably not going too far, but fun.

Thirdly, have you ever gone to class and realized you did today's assignment last week and never did last week's assignment? That happened to me twice this week.
Third-and-a-halfly, math classes are not looking so great this semester. We'll see...
Third-and-three-fourthsly, pants.

Fourthly, and I'll need your help on this one, Sunday I came back to my room and found oreos and peanut-buttered slices of bread all over my window (as in the window to Justin's and my room), with the phrase "Sub Lord" written in peanut butter with a smiley face. I have no idea what the whole thing means, but I have some theories:
In order from the most likely to the least likely:
1. It's an inside joke intended for someone else and the artist misfired on the wrong window.
2. It's a randumb act of vandalism by the local residents.
3. It was Justin's girlfriend's evil twin who goes by the pseudoname 'sub lord'.
4. It was a randumb act of vandilism by the local gang, the 'sub lords'.
5. Protests against members of the church who supported prop 8 has now reached Provo.
6. It was a randumb act of vandalism by the local aliens.
7. Oreos and peanut butter are feeling left behind by those who love sub sandwhiches.
8. It was a girl trying to ask me out or flirt with me.

Has anyone heard of this before? Sub Lord? Come on!

A Fun New Game

I bet the many students I passed on the way home were wondering what was up with that guy who is consistently giggling to himself... well, I had just invented a new game! I call it Ninja Wind Breaker!
"My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet..." (Jeremiah 4:19)
Such was the state I was in Friday after class. I really tried to just let it go in a silent fashion, but whoa, NOT THAT DAY! It was a bit embaressing in the TMCB, so I opted to go home where I could be more free with the sounds coming from my pants. Anyways, the game was to time each release just right so that nobody around could here, because it was inbetween classes so there wasn't a whole lot of people (a whole lot of quiet), yet there were enough people to make things complicated for me. It was pretty fun! And one thing I've always wondered... WHY IS IT SO FUNNY? What is it that makes people laugh so hard they cry when someone lets a rip in the chapel at the MTC, or when babies put the older folks to shame with their volume and timbre? You all have your stories, I know, but haven't you ever wondered?

Bad Day For Those Who Wear Red

Considering our new president... what to expect? I don't know. There's a lot of uncertainty going on right now, but it's not the end times. I trust that the Lord holds the future of this country in His hands, so come what may, we will endure.
Rockets dropped their first game of the season tonight. That hurts... almost as much as how much worse I actually did on the stinkin 190 test than the rest of the class. Remember that one I thought I did good on? pants...
On a bright note, tomorrow I start work! Better pay and less stress than the officiating job, BUT THE EXACT SAME HOURS (except now I work on Mondays). Do you hear the sound of the toilet flushing, taking my social life with it? I guess it wasn't much in the first place...
Speaking of politics, by the way, if anyone reads this blog and is from California (doubtful), please support proposition 8. You may not think it will affect your family, but if California loses this battle (and I mean losing by the homosexuals winning) it will be the first step before the next target is New Jersey, then Florida, then who knows where... pretty soon they will be teaching "tolerance" in the schools to the rising generations. As well, do whatever you can to speak out against that movie "Zach and Miri you know what"... that's just another step of bringing pornography into the open if that makes it to theaters. Think of what happens then! I fear that I could be raising my kids in a country that resembles Europe a little too much.
I truly feel that the economy is not our biggest problem. This country has faced worse problems with such and pulled through before, but if the people continue to make concessions contrary to the will of the Lord, then the spirit will cease to strive with us. That, my friends, is something much greater to fear.
I need a hug.

Off the Hook Halloween

By the randumb facts about me, you might think you a little about what transpired this week in the life of the regular guy.
Let me assure you... you do. But let's have a bit more details.
Tests... I don't fear them as some people do, but I probably haven't made an A on a test since High School. This week was a doozey! Good word, doozey... Ya, I had three tests, 2 of them were Maths 190 and 343. By the end of the week, though, I can look back and not get too depressed! 190 went especially well, so well that I got a burger from Carl's Jr. to celebrate, breaking from my usual diet of ramen noodle and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches.
Can I just say I love guacamole?! Ok, I can. I love guacamole!!
Wednesday was dance lab, where my 280 class was among a few chosen to feature in a routine. Now, our class instructor happened to change the routine maybe 3 times, and nobody in that class is very good anyways, so we SLAUGHTERED Buble's Everything song. I mean, I had lost count halfway through, and then there was the whole arm thing and my partner not spinning fast enough. I'm pretty sure one of the couples went so bogus they might have just started free-styling. I'm pretty sure I was part of that couple.
So Halloween rolls around, and I go to a party or two dressed as a Texan. I know, original right? Well this costume was not so much the boots, camo hat, jeans, and button up shirt all tucked in, but more of personality. HOOO DAWGY, youKNOWJimmieJohnsongonnatakeitallthisyearshoot
I'msmellinrepeatshootmymoneysonKurtBusch
passthechawmanIwasouttheothernight
andmywifepouredoutmybeersoIslappedher.
So it's kind of hard to dance in boots, but you know I did! And I sweated like an abomination! What's new, right?
Saturday meant yet another Halloween party, this time within the ward (even though it was November 1st). I couldn't decide if I should be a Texan again, or a referee, or an EFY counselor (all free costumes), so I decided to go as all three. I showed up as a Texan, morphed mid-dance into a referee (I had the shirt on under the button up polo and the sweat pants on under my jeans), and somehow ended up as 'Breanna' the counselor, and I don't even know how that one happened. I was gettin my groove on with James P. Sullivan and Bon Qui Qui. Could I hang with anyone more cool? Maybe that random walking banana that yelled "Potassium!" at me on campus, or the Pac-Man and Ghost who chased each other in the Wilkinson Center.
All in all, not a bad Halloween. But now, it's the most wonderful time of the year! And Christmas too.

Tag, I'm It!

7 Randumb Facts About Me

1 - I have an average of one big embarrassing moment per week. This week's was at Dance Lab, when I couldn't get hook arms with my partner to escort her as the routine demanded... at least not for like a minute straight. So there we were having an elbow fight while everyone else danced on...

2 - I wanted to carve cantelopes instead of pumpkins this Halloween. Too late, Halloween's over, it's time to break out the Christmas music!

3 - Last night I went to a few parties with my jeans tucked into some boots, a plaid button up shirt tucked in, and a camo hat to boot. Some people actually thought I dressed up for Halloween.

4 - I don't know enough people that blog to "tag" anyone else. Forgive me oh gods of the chain mail...

5 - I don't have any kids. One day I will have 12.

6 - I am un-computer savvy. I've tried to change the layout of this blog like five times now... and if I had a quarter for every time I got the blue screen of death on this computer, I would have like 12 bucks!

7 - Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.

By the way I totally missed the anniversary of this blog. There's gotta be a way I can celebrate somehow... I know! I could write the word "pants" a hundred times!!! Pants pants pants pants pnats pnats pants pants panst panstp anstp anstpnasp tnasptnapsntapsnt panstpa sntpans tpans pnastpnasptnasptnapnstpsnatpnspanaptnpstnpnastpnasptpasntpanstpnaptnapstpnastpnapntp

Nevermind. We'll see later this month.

The Daily Pants

So, this one time I was driving my car over to my sister's house, and singing to Harry Connick Jr. and stuff, and then this mini-van switches lanes. Nothing big about a mini-van switching lanes, right? Well he would have successfully pulled it off if it wasn't for this silver Nissan with a Texas license plate that was occupying the space he was attempting to occupy. It's all good though, I only lost a mirror, some paint, and a bit more sanity. We pulled over, I got his numba and info, and then I drove off and all was well... except I don't have a driver's side rear-view mirror now, so I'm likely to unintentionally plow into someone in a neighboring lane.
Poor Deci... what has she ever done to deserve the things I put her through?
Hooray for the guys winning Battle of the Sexes at FHE tonight! I knew what a sow-cow was, but that was my only contribution. And there was much rejoicing.

My New Theme

I hope nobody gets offended...

The Last Bachelor

It's been a while since I wrote on this thing. That loss to TCU was pretty hard to cope with, especially after I just expressed my thoughts on the greatness of our football program.
The weekend was super awesome though. I loved being back with my family, where life is good and food is home-cooked. Now I'm back in the harsh reality of school, with mediocre grades, a dwindling bank account, and late nights all by my lonesome. But hey, what do I have to complain about? Jesus loves me. I taught a lesson about that today for my Intro to Seminary Teaching class. Tomorrow I get back into the swing of work-outs and long hours in the math lab and library, and in a few weeks there's Halloween and Dance Lab, where my 280 class will be dancing to Buble's 'Everything'. Shawing! Who let the dawg's out?! Buh-arf. Johnson James, scooter me daisies... SUPPLIES!!

I think this month can be described in one word... 'pants'.

True Blue Pride!

So, the other day in Doctrine and Covenants class, Brother Bennet mentions the game and asks what the score will be. Some... guy... in the front row with a smug little smile (who advertises his jazz performance in classes) raised his hand. Quote: "I think we're all getting a little prideful so we're do for a loss." He still had that smug little smile on his face. I wanted to choke him with his own smug little tie. He's lucky I'm trying to be like Jesus.
Instead, maybe I'll sit next to him some day and see what we have in common. I do like jazz music... and then I might explain to him why my face was blueish on that particular day, and what makes me so... "prideful"... with my Cougars.
In the sporting world today, there is much to be seen as far as drama, scandal, egotism, irresponsibility, whining, quitting, back-biting, incontinence, disobedience to parents, having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof... ok, maybe not so much the last one, but you know what I mean. Pardon the Interruption is one of my favorite shows to watch, and everyday there's something new: "Pac-man Jones gets in another fight... Cub fan sells his loyalty on e-bay... Josh Howard makes an idiot of himself again..." I could go on for days. Yea, it's that bad (but I still love to watch). Anyways, the point being that this is not universally the case. Most players and coaches are mature enough to act responsibly, but there are also a few programs that just stand out. For obvious reasons, BYU is one of them.
First of all, most of the players are returned missionaries. This means that they are generally more mature, self-motivated, and spiritual than your average college football player. It's always good to see Jan Jorgensen in my Intro to Teaching Seminary class in the morning. Secondly, they live the honor code... that's a given, being here at this university. When BYU recruits, they make sure that those who are candidates for playing here are willing to live the honor code. This actually cuts down their options to about 35 players a year nation-wide... but we saw what happened when this tradition was strayed from under Gary Crowton. I don't think I need to bring it up.
And of course, Bronco Mendenhall is the MAN! His ultimate goal is... get ready for this... to be expendable. Wait, what? Expendable? Who wants to be expendable? I guess if you catch Manny Ramirez at the right time, but other than that, most sporting figures want to be the opposite of expendable! It's all about "me" in this game, I'm the one making the difference, I'm the one making the headlines and the big bucks! Now of course, Coach Mendenhall wants to make a difference, but he is gradually putting more and more into the hands of the players themselves. From practice to in-game play calling, he gives them responsibility and experience so that if he should leave, the program would continue on without skipping a beat. Such a program would be long lasting and successful, and probably a more rewarding experience to the players as well. And we'll never have to worry about going through what the Oakland Raiders are going through. Al Davis is one ugly guy! I just had to throw that in.
Tradition, Spirit, Honor... I am proud of the Cougars not only because this is my school, but these are the good guys.
Wow, I'm so serious about this that I didn't even include the word pants. Until now.

Book of The Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 2:

1. And his father gave him command that he should take a woman out three out of four weeks in every month.
2. And the man of little consequence, being without skills and employ, thought to himself, "This is a hard thing he asketh... I cannot propsper."
3. But after some time, he began to remember the words of his own mind that were based upon real scripture, but still quite as silly as this blog; thus were the words, "I will go and do the things which my father has commanded, for I know he commands no such thing save I can do the thing, unless the thing being relating to females."
4. So he resolved upon a strategem to write the names of certain females and covenant with himself that should he meet these females on campus, he would surely get their number or die. And these were the names of the females:
5. Thou thougtest that he would give up some classified information, didst thou?

6. And the day came that he went to the library and kept these things in his heart.
7. Behold, there was one of the girls of the aforementioned "list"!
8. But Satan whispered in his heart, "She thinkest that thou art a creep, and speakest with her friends to avoid thy gaze. Perhaps another time will come when the meeting will not be so awkward."
9. So the man of little consequence moved on and pretended as if he did not see her. And when he had sat down to do his homework, there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, much to the chagrin of the others in the library.

10. This is the most recent account of the man of little consequence. Perhaps it is true, perhaps not.
11. Nevertheless, gird up thy pants and go forth, and let us continually go about this work with good fortune; for there is one yet in the land who will the see the man as more than just a little consequence...
12. Or so is the belief...

Baby Namer

So, this baby-namer.com or whatever the pants the site is... when you type a name in, it tells you the origin and famous people and whatnot, and it also lists drawbacks, or names your kid might get called in school. Some of my drawbacks listed were: "Toddy potty, re-Todd, Toddles, Toddy-wad, Toad..." Sound familiar? I GOT CALLED THEM ALL!! Thanks mom and dad, and whoever else opted against 'Thomas'.

Sickness

Wasn't it about this time last year that I was diagnosed with chronic sinusitis? I'm wondering if the doctors made that one up... but I still had that miserable cough.
Well, it's back. Hack hack wheeze wheeze... pants...
Where did I get it from? That's nobody's business but the Turks. Or maybe I should stop eating food off the ground (at least I'm pretty sure it's food, most of the time). Hey, funds are tight, I can't afford to pass up any opportunities, right?
And my 343 book still has not come in the mail. Do you know how much this hurts my grade? I can't read the book or do the homework on my own time, but am constantly having to bum off other people or the math lab. Ugh... the math lab...
I guess things could be worse... I could be without power for a week or so.
My prayers go out to you, my family. But, there is good to be taken from Ike. If you haven't realized it yet, you will soon, even if it's just the experience that will have you prepared for catastrophic future events, which are sure to come.
Perhaps there is good to be found in this little cough of mine too. You never know.

Soreness

I worked out for the first time ALL YEAR yesterday morning (like, lifting-weights-for-reals work out). Wow, it hurts... but the hurting never felt so good, know what I mean? Ya, besides the soreness and the nausea, there was a good lesson to be reminded of here. We all take hard knocks and deal with a little soreness, but then nature rebuilds itself stronger and as a result, we are stronger.
The MTC called Monday. The spot was filled, so no worky there for me... yet. They keep my application for a year, so if something opens up, then hoorah. Yet I am still unemployed. How does custodial sound? I hear they're always hiring...
I took my exemption exam for Physical Science on Monday too. I got a 71... that' s good enough to not have to go class anymore, but it's not something I want to affect my GPA. I guess I'll be taking the final.
And this being just the third week of school, I already am lost in the woods with this Linear Algebra business. Nothing I can't handle with the Lord's help, but for the moment it's a little frustrating.
I guess I was having so much fun this semester that I had forgotten about the down times on this emotional roller coaster we call life. No matter, all is well.
That'll do donkey. pants.

How Bad Can We Beat This Into the Ground?

I kind of feel sorry for UCLA, really. After BYU spanked them and took away their birthday, and then broke Kevin Craft's spirit in half, threw it on the ground and took a deuce on it, and characteristically injured eight plus players. Has anybody noticed that when we play someone, they have a lot of guys on the ground after everyone else gets up? So ya, BYU pulled their pants down so they tripped on them and face-planted, and broke their nose, jaw, and a multitude of teeth! BYU devoured them like a hungry poly at Hometown Buffet! BYU wasn't just pouring salt into the wound by the end of the game, they were pouring salt and vinegar chips into that wound!

I'm sorry UCLA, but our football team had to make a statement. You were just the unfortunate donkey they rode to make it.

BYU pillaged their village, hurled their world, rocked thier clock, and something else that almost rhymes! BYU gave them all swirlies and ate thier homework! BYU went Chuck Norris on them! BYOB, bring your own B-Y-BOOYAH!
I could do this for days...

Good Life Hotline Ad

I just took a math quiz and guessed on every single problem... (I don't have the book yet). I got a 100. Life is good.
I got stung by a bee on my way to school this morning. Life is good.
I think I'm going to design a tee-shirt that says "I Can't Be a Seminary Teacher Unless I Get Married", and on the back it will say, "Any Takers? 832-472-2204" Life is good.
I think I got made fun of for eating a lot of noodles today. Life is good.
I wore shorts today... not pants... life is good.
I got a parking ticket reduced to ten dollars. Life is good.
Life is really good. What have I ever done to deserve such blessings?
So if you need a lift on a particularly rainy day, just give me a call (832-472-2204 toll free) for sunny smiles and cheery cheeks! And a load of cheese! I guarantee that Life Will Be Good!

Actually It's Just A Matter of Simple Arithmetic

Sometimes, when I blog, the title has absolutely no relevance to the actual blog itself. Well, then the relevance would be simply that I am relevantly random.
I'm beginning to think that 17 credit hours is a lot of work. I mean, Math 343 is a beast itself, but now I have reading out the wazoo, more math, and seminaries to visit. All in all, smells like a big batch of loser-itis is cooking up again as the library and I get to be real close... and I haven't even started a job yet.
So hold on to your pants as the blogs will be few and far between this semester, unless you really want to hear how the latest homework assignment is going. But you never know... perhaps this semester holds a few surprises in store between the cramming and dancing and possibly even...
dating?
Psshaw...

Bringing Wedgies Back into Style

Son of a Parking Ticket, it happened again!!!
I'm really happy that school is back. I mean, at first I was bummed that it was happening again this year, but now that I'm into it, things are going really well. One of my favorite things about going on to campus is seeing people... you know, the sort of people you don't keep in contact with over the summer, but when you see them at school you're like, "Hey! How was your summer? I'm thinking of starting a wedgie club, wanna join?" Anyways, I played volleyball the other day at Helaman Halls with Justin, and I didn't break my nose this time! Progress... as well I spend many hours at the Library, almost as many hours as I spend watching Lost. I'm now into the fourth season, so let's have a moment of silence for Charlie......... Back in reality, tomorrow I get to go observe a seminary lesson in Orem where Darin Palmer is the seminary principal, or something like that. Darin Palmer is a good friend of Brother Chidister's, and I met him last semester when I talked about a career in CES. Turns out they only take about 5 to 15 from BYU each year, and if they don't take you, that's it. Slim chances, so it's good to have a back-up to fall on. Or a few... apart from Math Teaching, I've considered these:
Professional Cat Herding
Professional Pirateering... Piracy... what's the correct term here? I guess I should ask Tim Curry.
Professional Promotion of the word 'Pants'
Professional Squirrel Tamer

It all sounds so good when you put 'Professional' in the front right? Ok, not really...

'Hate' is such a strong word...

Can I just say I hate parking tickets!! I hate them! And I don't use that word a lot... it's kind of a potty word. So now parking ticket is a potty word too... or phrase. There goes thirty more dollars.
I haven't been doing much this last week or so. Lots of watching 'Lost', and when I say lots, I mean rarely leaving the room lots... I mean two seasons in two days lots... I can't help it! Every episode ends in a way that takes away your agency as you think to yourself, "Woa, yet another twist... I must see the next episode or I will be unable to function as a sedentary being." But now school has begun and work will soon (theoretically) and I will be able to kiss my lazy and care-free lifestyle goodbye, with only a twinge of remorse. It's good to not feel like a pair of torn and worthless pants.
So, anyways, I have to get my next lesson for the MTC ready. And I have to use the bathroom. Perhaps I can do them both at the same time?

More transitional living

So life here at Jake and Lindsey's was good. Lindsey cooks way good, comparable nigh even unto mom! And the almost non-stop stream of crying babies helped me realize how much the little ones DOMINATE your life! I'm having second thoughts about the twelve tribes of Todd... ya right!
Today I taught a lesson at the MTC, the first step in an evaluation process that could land me a job close to the one I did this summer, but better pay. It felt good, but we won't know how good it was until they send the e-mail letting me know if I was recommended or not. If this and Fanzz and that other job doesn't work out, I can always go work at a pants factory or something. Sorry, I just had to get the word 'pants' in here.
By the way, the Olympic games are still awesome. I admit I watched the women's (or little girls') gymnastics, and I was happy when Shawn won gold on balance beam because she was flippin around like a ninja! And Shawn is not a girl's name! What were her parents thinking? It's ironic, actually, because one of my best buddies can't stand these unisex names, yet we thought of one for almost every letter in the alphabet: Andy (or Ashton), Bobby, Cory (actually both the last two can be distinguished by the name ending in either 'i' or 'y', wierd), Dana, Erin, Francis... etc. By the way, that good buddy's name is Shaun.
Anybody got one for G? or H? J has like infinity: Jaime, Jordan, Jan, Jessie...

Transitional Living

So my contract for Cinnamon Tree ended on the 16th. It's like the apartment I never knew... anyways, my next contract for Centennial starts on the 20th, so what do I do for the four days in-between?
Party at Jake and Lindsey's!! Hooowah!
As well, I am currently on the market for a new job. I've applied at Fanzz and the MTC, and if neither of these work out, I can always go with Justin's old job. They're always hiring. It's unfortunate that I won't be able to do Olive Garden this semester (or probably next one either), but there's always next summer. School comes first.
I'm really excited for school to start because in spite of having three math classes I get to learn to latin dance and I have two religion classes, including Intro to Seminary Teaching. I do need a new pair of pants to dance in... and go to church in... there goes Disneyland.
Huzzah! Later ON!

Games I'd like to see in the Olympics

1. Fire Dancing: Ok, if they do gymnastics, surely they could approve any form of dancing! And maybe with this event, we could see Tonga win a gold medal... is Tonga even in the olympics? Come to think of it, I haven't seen a single poly ever competing. And why is Rugby not an olympic sport?

2. 100 M Sack Race (with a twist): It's like field day, with the latest technology aero-dynamic sacks on your legs, but in this race you get one over your head too, so it's not only a race against your opponents, but also a race against time before you run out of oxygen and die! And the paradox is that you have to use oxygen to actually pump your legs... intense!

3. Awkward Relay: Ok, in this one you have a HUGE pair of pants, and in order to run in the relay you have to be wearing them (and pretty much holding them up as you run). When you get to your next teammate in the relay, you have to take off the pants, and he has to put them on. Some strategies may include getting larger racers that would fit the pants more comfortably.

4. Midget Toss: Instead of throwing boring old metal balls anymore like in shot-put, why not throw a tiny, screaming person? How much more fun would that be!! And if you're really attached to the metal ball, put it in the midget's hands, and then have him throw it while in mid-air! The combined distance is your score.

5. Crash Team Racing: Possibly my best chance at ever winning a gold medal.

6. Aquatic Equestrian: Instead of horses, people ride dolphins or whales or seals or sea turtles or manatees or giant squids... so much possibility!

7. Canoe Wars!: Which team will capsize first? Oh wow, the Spanish have boarded the American canoe and both teams are now caught in swash-buckling action! And the Native Americans win again... surprise, surprise.

You know, after writing this blog, I realize human beings have invented infinite types of competitions, and most any thing can be made into a competition. So even though under-water basket weaving is NOT an olympic sport (just for the record), I'm sure someone somewhere is the absolute best in the world at it. And I'm really glad Michael Phelps is an American.

EFY Finale

Again, a large gap between blogs. But this time I was working on something big... or at least for me.

So, the last week of EFY back here in Provo... If I could sum it up in one word, it would be: super awesome! You see, it's not even sum-uppable in one word, and I'm pretty sure I just invented another one! Anyways, I found that if you get a group of guys who are united and have a leader who is willing to do crazy things and everyone else will follow, the week is going to be super awesome no matter who the counselor is. This week, my boys wrote a song for their girls to the tune of "Hey There Delilah":

Hey efy girl
you're so pretty when you're modest
i've got to say goodbye soon
cause this session's almost over
yes it's true
temple square can't shine as bright as you
i swear it's true

Hey there lone zebra,
when the slow song starts to play
just make yourself available
and girl I won't delay
I'll make your day
The might hunter finds his prey
I'm on my way

Oh, won't you dance with me?
Oh, hold me steadfastly
Oh, won't you dance with me?
Oh, hold me steadfastly,
hold me steadfastly...

Hey C.O.W.
It's our last night together
but just add me on facebook
and then we'll be friends forever,
B.F.F.
It'll be just like I never left,
You're the best

Hey Efy girl,
Won't you write me on my mission,
I'll be servin for the Lord,
so other guys don't you be kissin
don't close your eyes,
when you are out with other guys,
my eternal prize...

Please, don't you dear john me!
Stand by me steadfastly,
Please, don't you dear john me!
Stand by me steadfastly,
by me steadfastly...

(Bridge) Two years may seem pretty long,
but you'll be true and I'll be strong
I'll think of you just every other day...

And then one day when I return,
we'll reunite, our hearts will burn,
The world will never ever be the same!
You'll take my name!

Oh, be mine eternally,
oh, be mine eternally,
oh, be mine eternally,
oh, be mine eternally,
mine eternally...

By the way, our company name was "Steadfastly" this week. Clever, no?
So this blog is already pretty long, I'll just sum up the rest of the week by letting you know the fun stuff. My co-counselor was engaged to another counselor, which made things pretty awkward until Friday when they told me it was just a joke. I got punked. At the Friday night dance, I tore a hole in my pants, and promptly fixed it with duct tape. Yay for duct tape! Of course, people probably noticed the duct tape more than they would have noticed the hole... but hey, it's EFY. This week was all about acceptance. Brother Willcox did a stellar job as usual (he was the session director), and it was all capped off with a visit from Kenneth Cope and Sister Dalton, General President of Young Women's. Is that the right title?
And for the second time this summer, ALL the boys in my group bore their testimony on Thursday night. So here's to the summer that made me feel like a million bucks! No, two million!!... dare I say three?! No, I don't dare.

So here's the big thing, I hope it works:

If This Week Were Any More Special, We'd Name it Ed

You know, I really shouldn't compare weeks of EFY to one another. They're all so very different in their own different ways... but I still compare them.
After this week, every other week seems mild, and so will this one... probably. You never know...

Anyways, here are the chief contestants of the group "Looked Up/Mira Arriba" that made the week, well, let's say interesting for me: (Names have been changed out of courtesy for the individuals who will probably actually never read this blog)

Senyor Chihuahua (the ny is the n with a little squiggly above it, so you know. Someone computer savvy might be able to pull it off, not me): Anyways, this guy is pretty much straight from Mexico. It was people like this last week that had me scratching my head, wondering what in the world motivates this kid, what makes him tick? When I asked him what he liked to do, he would shrug his shoulders... a common response. Really, the only time I got him to smile was when I made fun of other kids' moms in Spanish. "Tu madre!" And that made me feel bad, so I didn't even do it very often. If I was fluent in Espanyol, instead of just partially there, things might have been different for him... and most of the other kids in my group (11 out of 14 spoke spanish as their primero idioma).

The Slap-Me-Upside-The-Head-Because-I'm-Gonna-Do-Something- Stupid Hermanos: One counselor didn't show up this week, so I landed two extra youth from what should have been his group. They were one of these hermanos, and another whom we will get to later. Did I use whom correctly? Maybe my English is suffering... anyways, this hermano and another in my group got together for most of the week. They refused to escort, claiming that the girls in our group were too ugly for them, and claiming so out loud where they could hear... (by the way, the girls of Looked Up were stellar! In an attempt to integrate, EFY high-ups had put 10 white girls in our group and 4 Hispanics, but the integration never really happened. Sorry girls, again...) An inappropriate picture landed these two boys in the site office, which was the second of my many visits with the session director and coordinators. After one of the BC's, notorious for being a hard word-I-can't-say, reamed them and their friends pretty thoroughly, I figured they learned their lesson and would behave better for the rest of the week. Next morning, one was missing from his room when I went to get him for morning devotional. Figures...

Crip Dawgy-Dawg: When asked what character he would be if he was a TV character, he said Snoop Dawg. Wonderful... I knew it would only be a matter of time before this guy got to know the session director well. He was a proclaimed LT Crip, complete with blue wardrobe, colorful vocabulary (which thankfully was incomprehensible the majority of the time with that slurred and lazy gangsta speak), threats to all who wear red, and knife and lighters for cigarettes. These last items were what fulfilled my expectations, considering if one is caught with weapons at EFY, one is sent home. He actually wasn't. The jury ruled on his simple ignorance of the rules. As such, he was kept under close supervision, invited to take a front-row seat for every fireside, and his weapons were confiscated and given to me. The shank, I mean knife, is now in the hands of Brother Brown (the session director) for use in future object lessons.

Mr. Depression: Note, this is Mr., not Senyor. This, my greatest test, was not Hispanic, but about as white as you can possibly get, and the other leftover from the counselor no-show. When I say Depression, understand that HE was not depressed, only me when I thought about his life. How to relate to someone who's greatest passion is glitching in a video game, "Gears of War"... and only passion, I might add. He very vocally refused to have a good time at EFY, and opted to go home on Tuesday, but understandably, his parents who forced him to come and payed for it, wouldn't have it. "So buddy, why don't we make the best of this..." Well, my advice was not taken, unless the "best of this" involves sticking to yourself, sleeping during all firesides and classes and study times, hiding during the dances, pretending to shoot things and people while everyone else is playing games on Wednesday night, spending free time reading and re-reading anime books, and wearing the same pair of pants, shirt, and socks for 72 hours straight (including sleeping in them) and never showering until Friday when the counselor made you. What a depressing life, really. I guess he's only 14, and still has plenty of time to realize there's more to reality than virtual reality. Where's the Umpa Lumpas, they could make up one heck of a riddle for this guy!

Despite my rantings, I was actually good friends with all these guys by the end of the week. I had to spend so much time baby-sitting them, I had no choice, and in turn, I got to understand why they are who they are, and why they do the things they do. This last week of EFY was definately special... in an odd, crazy, and character-building way. These boys were still my brothers, and I can do nothing but hope the best for them, even if it takes a LOT of hope. And there is so much more to each of their stories, but knowing you may never make it through this blog, we can talk in real life. People still do that, you know.

"Umpa Lumpa doopity doo
I have another riddle for you
Umpa Lumpa doopity dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

What do you get from this colorful scene?
A geek and a thug and everything in-between
'No hablo espanol, lo siento'
'Ese, where can I get a tacoooo!?'
... que estupido gringo..."

What Happens Now!?

Does anyone remember the feeling you get when you finish the last Harry Potter book? It's like, 'What magic do I have to look forward to now? What do I wake up being excited about now? What am I going to do with myself?" When the great epic ended (ya, I called it great. I'm a Potter fan, not fanatic, just fan), I suffered from what I called "Post-Potter Depression". That was last summer... I have since recovered. Just a few weeks ago, my other outlet into an alternate reality ended too: Avatar, the last Airbender. I know what you're thinking... GEEK! Forget you, it was a really good story and surprisingly captivating for a children's show. I really don't like anime, just for the record, and Avatar is an American show. When it concluded most spectacularly the other day, again I had the same thoughts going through my mind... What is there to look forward to now? The third Batman sequel? A continuing Office season? Nothing measures up... 

But then, there is this ongoing story of the life of the man of little consequence. To me, that one never gets boring. Every morning I wake up, I wonder what pair of pants he will wear this day, what crazy stunts he will pull, what randumb acts of stupidity he will undertake for the entertainment of his family, what silly blogs he will write, and what interactions (if any) he will have with the ladies. 

The best part is, this season never ends, and it always gets better. 

So stay tuned to find out how the last week of Efy went for the man of little consequence, and find out what awaits him upon his return to Utah... maybe even (dun dun dun) A DATE!?

From DC to Danbury and everywhere in between

"Why any man would want a wife is a mystery. Why any man would want more than one is a bigomystery..." -Glenn Beck.

Wow, thanks for keeping me company Glenn. Currently I am reading his book An Inconvenient Book. I really don't know what to believe, but I love the way he writes, and I'll probably quote him often, like this nice little mormon pun he included in his chapter about marriage and divorce. So this was how I spent most of my time during the long lay-overs on my journey from San Antonio to Norfolk, Virginia.

As I flew in, I looked out the window and realized why everyone was asking if I was going to Iraq after they found out I was flying into Norfolk. Lots of military business going on there. But this is not where I spent the majority of our family reunion slash vacation.

All the Martins were there. That's a more monumental statement than I realized, seeing as how there were twenty-two of us! So we bolstered the numbers of Green Lakes Baptist church considerably, and the brothers Martin (with the occasional Russell) blew the congregation away with a capella Brightly Beams our Father's Mercy. It must be a lot of fun to be a baptist, lots of singing really loud and standing and listening to kids say interesting things like, "If you chop someone in half, then they would die." The next week we visited old Williamsburg and then Washington D.C. I really loved seeing the monuments, especially the Lincoln Memorial and the Capitol. My best memory will always be feeding the squirrels though.

They ate straight from my hand! What the pants!!

After a long and wonderful trip home where I realized my ability to remember lyrics is like unto a human juke box, I find myself at home in Danbury again. Another week off with my favorite people, and then another week in San Antonio. Who knows what lies in store?

And don't worry about this oil crisis stuff... Glenn Beck has it all figured out: "What we really need right now is a new MacGyver. Pincushion, tomato, rubber band, staple, bandanna... oil problem solved." (page 103)

"YEAH TODD!"

Long time no blog... what a slacker.

Anyways, of my last week in Provo before coming to San Antonio, I was out of work but managed to keep myself busy and whatnot. Details don't mean much, but I did get to the temple three days in a row and hung out with lots of friends, including some of the guys from the previous week of EFY. They asked a girl out for me, and she said she didn't believe them... come on, how often does Todd ever ask girls out? If I've done so in the last three months, then I'm good, right?

Well, this last week of EFY was very different from my previous two experiences, as will probably always be the case. Let's start from the beginning:

Being Full was the name of the group. It's from the scripture in The Book of Man of Little Consequence:

"And the man of little consequence, being full of silliness, did dance until the sweat came forth in abundance;

Which disgusted the women who refused then to notice him.

Even so, many had yet mistaken him for a youth..."

Well, the group was only 28 large, I being armed with 12 men of the older age group again, so that wasn't too much different. The difficulty was keeping them all together, out of the rain, away from the fire alarm, fully clothed, off the sidewalk with banner paints, and out of the hair of certain BC's that were ready to snap my neck by the end of the week. When I mentioned the fully clothed part, my boys decided Friday's devotional was a special "no pants" one, so I taught a bunch of kids in boxers about humility, and shortly after they had a pillow fight... Oh yeah, and some of my boys had fun stealing their counselor's mattresses, chairs, and otter pops. You know, if I didn't love them and they me, it might have been quite a difficult week. Either way it was hilarious!

So if anyone has heard that little rap/yell thingy about toast, you know, "YA TOAST!", after it was performed in the talent show by a kid banging spoons on an actual toaster, it then became our group's cheer. "YEAH TODD!!"

So go ahead and be anal, Texas San Antonio staff, and try to make me feel like a bad counselor again... I will still give my boys the best experience of the summer, and I will still have a bomb-sha-bomb time!

Being alone never felt so good

Don't worry, this is not another 'dating woes' blog. Being Alone was the name of my company in my most recent session of EFY.
Ironic?...
Well, I'm not going to do a day-by-day thing for this one, even though it was so very different from the first week. First and foremost, I had 16-18 year olds (12 0f them), and they were all studs. Secondly, the session director was female, and it was her first time at EFY. She's the only person I know that is more accident-prone than the Martin boys, and she blows us out of the water (she's been struck by lightning, and that was a light case for her). Anyways, the session was much smaller too, but I didn't feel that that made too much of a difference.
So this is what happened: a bit of awkwardness, an out-of-control hamster dance, a whole lot of aviators, guitars during firesides, a whiff of reefer, late-night parties and serenades, fun with throwing counselors in the air, grilled cheese sandwhiches and mission stories, an all-inclusive testimony meeting, my birthday on Friday, a date within EFY, a song for Janis, dances with beautiful counselors, T-9 texting, unabated laughter, and unprecedented spiritual intensity. We laughed, we cried, we ate, we sighed... and nobody died. My boys were incredible, and each really had wonderful experiences at EFY, as they would have had anyone been their counselor. In all seriousness, this has already been the most rewarding summer of my life excluding the mission. And it's not even close to being over...
Here's to my boys, they made it beyond great! Here's to my pants, for being spilled on only once!

Here's to my Lord, who has been altogether too good to me.

To the brethren on Being Alone, love ya'll!
The righteous never have to say good-bye for the last time.

A Fixed NBA?

Ok, it's a hot topic right now. For what it's worth, this is my point of view.
Ok, Tim Donaghy is evidence that it actually HAS happened, and there is definitely a possibility that it has happened elsewhere. There always has been and there is always will be speculation. As a loyal Houston fan, I've always wondered how the backseat Rockets could be less favored by league officials. After all, who wants to see Yao Ming go to the finals? And again, the 2005 playoffs versus the Mavericks was pretty shifty if you know what I mean. But I don't want to believe it. And if so, it could not have affected Houston that much. If any game was fixed, it was game 6 of the 2002 Lakers vs. Kings, and they may have made it so obvious that they decided not to pull another marketing stunt like that for years. Then again, it could have been just really poor officiating that Donaghy chose to target to try to throw some dirt on the league for fining him $1 million. Who knows?
Well this is a right can of worms to open, eh? My pants are dirty, I need to go do laundry. Go Celtics!

Paint Chips for Breakfast

Of these last two weeks, I decided the painting career wasn't my thang this summer. Each job has a fixed pay for completion, so your hourly wage depends on how quickly you work. I probably averaged under 6 bucks an hour, because when I did something well, it was too slow, and when I did something fast, it was not good enough and I'd have to go back and do it again. Experienced painters can establish that certain balance, but do I really have the time this summer to become an experienced painter? Apart from the minimum wage, I earned a ruined sweatshirt and pair of shorts and tee-shirt, a gasoline-scented car, and a few interesting stories. Earlier this week, we were working in Heber, and it started to snow. Check the date again... ya, it's June. What is the matter with this stupid state? Do you know how fun it is to scrape paint off a fence in under 35 degree weather? On the same day as the snow, I had another unfortunate experience, and I'll have to use lots of euphemisms here for those who gross out easily. My bowels have not been functioning properly for the last two weeks or so, and let's just say that paint wasn't the only stain on my pants that day. Not having any Imodium on me at the time, I just had to deal with it. Yesterday was my last day, and I just power-washed a number of decks and houses. One was a raised deck that is otherwise inaccessible unless through the house. Since the owners weren't home, I had to use my Spider-man instincts and stack tables and climb on the roof. Unfortunately, I am not Spider-man, so I slipped and fell, effectively breaking my collar bone. Ok, not really, but if I did, the first thought that would have come to me would have been simply, "figures". I did climb a house and some golfers may have seen and reported me to Park City police, but if they did I'm not aware of it. The thing is, I'm happy this paint stuff kept me busy these past two weeks, but it was pretty miserable. I keep getting e-mails for more male counselors needed in EFY, and I figure I'll just get a job in August after my last session that will carry over into the school year.
Until then, next week is another week of Everyone Flirts with You. Wait, that would be EFWY... Eternally Frozen Yogurt?... Any ideas?

Bummer Summer

Thank goodness for EFY. Otherwise I might feel like a loser. And I have that song playing in my head as I write this... I think it's called 'Creep'.
Well, funds are running dry and I never performed up to par for this College Works business so pay will be significantly less (it's complicated). Not that I'm a bad painter, I was just too slow this week. And it rained a lot, so we wasted a lot of time (and gas). So here I am at Cinnamon Tree by myself again. I got no money, no girlfriends... at least my pets heads aren't falling off.
Wait a minute, am I on another pity party? Truthfully, I never have a reason to be. If this is the worst that's happening in life, then it's pretty dang good. Man, those poor girls have no idea what they're missing. Ok, I better put some pants on and go over to Lindsey and Jake's. Love ya and later ON!

Hey there Delilah, here's to you

So I got a job for in between EFY sessions... I know, wierd right? Today I spent ten hours painting a house in every way you can imagine, except with fingers and hands. Tomorrow I will do the same. Perhaps this summer will fly by in a flurry of hard work and family reunions and flirtatious teenagers! (Not that the last item mentioned makes the summer go any faster or anything...)
Too bad I won't have time anymore for the Social Pants club... I mean Dance Club...

Friends

Caution: Reading this blog may give you that warm and fuzzy feeling. If you are in a bad mood and don't want to feel better, I recommend you refrain from reading this blog and go pick on little children instead.

When I first got back to Utah, I had some fun catching up with old mission buddies, and it keeps paying off. Here are a few to name:

Richie Uminski: This is the guy that got me into EFY basically. He was my district and zone leader in the mission in Carmichael. He speaks sign language and can be a bit eccentric at times, but he is always fun to be around. People like me aspire to have 12 kids in their family, people like Richie aspire to have a down-syndrome child in their family for the special spirit they bring. I think Richie is the most likely to get translated of my acquaintances (outside the family).

Justin Krogue: Who can have a roommate for 6 plus months and find no fault with them? I have yet to with Justin, it's never been easier to live with anyone else. I spent a long time catching up with my friend from freshman year at BYU and fellow Texan when I got back to BYU. He is the role model of progression, making good money, getting super good grades, and now he's engaged! He seems so complete... just like the Whipples...

Nathan Creer: My adopted "son" from the mission recently returned from Sacramento where he rocked the numbers with his fearless and somewhat unorthodox methods. I saw him for the first time as Nathan instead of Elder Creer the other day at the mall, and maybe I'll hang out with him some more. His face is always red, so he nicknamed himself "baboonaz"... don't dwell on that one too long.

George Bush: Yes, my trainer is here in Provo as well. I found him at Albertsons, and we joked with each other in a manner Jon and I often do. In fact, this guy is one of the only ones I've ever known to have an imagination to rival Jon's... and artistic ability. It's the most fun to play basketball with him though, because, well... he's more of an artist than an athlete. For more on him, just look up gbush13 on Youtube.

Matt Yancey: My new roomy! We could reminisce all day about the good times in the Tongan ward. On the mission, Matt told me about all these books he read, then at the end of the transfer, he admitted he made all the stories up. I was really impressed actually... As my other roommates sorted through the mail, "Bill, bill, bill, bill..." Matt goes, "I wish Bill wouldn't get all the mail." Haha!! Good times...

Shaun Hall: I actually haven't seen this guy for a while. He was going to Utah State last time I knew, but maybe he went back to Minnesota for the summer. He needs to call me back! I probably served around Shaun more than anyone else in the mission, from the MTC, to him being my roomy to my zone leader to my assistant, until we went home at the same time and
have stayed in contact ever since. If only Logan wasn't so crazy far away!

Nathan Kuhn: Ok, this guy is not from my mission, but he just hooked me up with a job to have in between EFY sessions, so I had to include him. I actually met him long ago in Pete's Friendswood ward, and then again freshman year at BYU, and up to the present day. Good times, from Axis and Allies to College Pants Works or whatever it is... Here's to Texas!

The rest of my friends are imaginary, so I won't write about them. Oh wait, there's one more:

Fang: He leaves presents in my room every time I come home, never talks bad about me behind my back, and never trumps my ace of spades. Have I beaten this one into the ground? "Yes Todd, it was cute back then, now it's straight up creepy" Shut up you, it's a sensitive subject!!

Now this is getting really weird, I better stop...

EFY: The Long Short Week

Even though it seemed like just yesterday I was passing out shirts for the newcomers, I am exhausted... this has been one EXTREME week!

And there are still four more to go...

Sunday: Technically our week starts on Sunday with the session director fireside. All the counselors from my session would be there, as well as the coordinators and building counselors and all the high-ups you know. Our session director was Brother Ryan Garner. Has anyone heard of him? After this fireside, I knew he was everything we expect of an outreach speaker: passionate, funny, knowledgeable, always relating to scriptures and general authorities. I would even rank him among the veterans we all know and respect like Scott Simmons, Brad Willcox, and Shaun Chidister. And now my name is in the front of his scriptures... I'll get to that part later.

Anyways, that night I got to meet my fellow co-counselors. There were three of them, one guy and two girls. I was actually the oldest of them all, the other guy being only two months off of his mission from Canada, and one girl being 19 attending BYU and the other 21 attending hair school somewhere. Both girls had boyfriends, so don't even go there...

Monday: I passed out shirts for registration. It got kind of monotonous so we tried to spice things up in various ways like throwing the shirts at the youth or talking in Spanish. Just after noon we met with our youth. I lucked out here, seriously. Only six guys, all 14, all pretty chill and well-behaved as the week progressed. Some were sociably awkward, so the only difficulty was breaking some of them out of their shell. Other than that, I was really impressed with how far ahead of their time these guys are. One of my boys was from Houston, actually. And he was a Jazz fan... gyargh!
There were 9 other guys in our company, the Keys of the Kingdom. 4 of them were immediately recognized and "fun", which is my euphanism (spelling?) for trouble. I ended up being good friends with these guys.
Quote of this day: "Flip the Baby!" (Brother Garner as he flipped his 6 month old Court in his arms, it was sweet)

Tuesday: We had classes today... Brad Willcox was there and he gave me a giant hug when I found a scripture for him. That guy is like a spiritual comedian! I made sure my boys weren't going to classes by themselves, so by the time it was free time I turned them loose so I could go get some shorts from the bookstore because I had forgotten any sort of pajama pants to sleep in. That can be kind of awkward with a roommate... At the dance that night I suffered my first casualty during a particularly crazy dance... my glasses. I put them in my pocket so I could head-bang and stuff, and they didn't stay there.
By the way, we were eating meals in the Morris Center. That was NOSTALGIC! When I would get my food, I almost automatically would start looking for Justin or my other freshman buddies to sit by. Did I mention Justin is engaged?
For everyone who memorized Mosiah 5:15, the theme scripture, and recited it to Brother Garner, you got to sign the front of his scriptures. I did that on this day, as well as two of my other boys.

Wednesday: One of my boys took sick this day, and the special four were out of control at games night. Kind of a long day... Getting 35 youth moving and motivated, much less organizing a cheer which was entirely up to them, is much like herding cats. So I felt the pain of my poor parents. That night before we had our pizza, I had a special devotional with just me and my co-counselor's 4 upstart youth. We had a good time and talked about what was happening, and I suggested they write apology notes to some people, like the girls in our company who complained to their counselor, Chelsea. Here are some direct quotes from that note:
"Dear Hot Chelsea..."
"We're sorry for stalking you..."
"We promise to show more respect by excurting (that word is supposed to be escorting) the girls..."
If you knew the guy who wrote it, it was freaking hilarious. I'm sorry....

Thursday: This was basically the intensely spiritual day that you can't blog much about, but after this day it was hard to believe that this week was going to happen four more times this summer. How do you repeat an experience like this?
At the variety show, you had the usual... the guys who thought they were all that because they wrote their own song and played a guitar, the uni-cyclist, the dancer, the kid who was named Leviticus and turned his feet backward (both very unique talents)... but that was about it. It was only about 45 minutes long.

Friday: We all hoped to end the week on a good note, but despite my special devotional on Wednesday, 3 of our ADD candidates were still not co-operating during the service activity of simply cutting yarn and wrapping it on tongue dispensers. I wonder if I was too nice to them... It all turned out well because we were cool at the dance and everyone had a great time. I got the chance to practice my social dance with another counselor. She's a dance major and doesn't go to BYU, so I probably won't see her again. Sorry dad.

Thus it was, though what is written here is not a tenth of what I truly experienced. I'm sorry, I know people hate it when people say this, but you had to be there.

So now what? I get some much needed sleep, but return to a world where I have nothing much to do for the next two weeks. But after this one, I really feel this is going to be one of the best summers ever. Who knows what lies in store?!

Brilliant Ideas

So, what if you and a bunch of friends choreographed a musical number that was supposed to take place RIGHT ON CAMPUS when nobody was expecting it! One person would just break into song like, "That test! It sucked! It blew my world!" and the girl from the other end of the square responds, "That food! It sucked! I nearly hurled!" and I would be like, "These pants, they're nice and my hair is curled!" And about 12 more people would all randomly fall from the crowd into a line dance with jumping and singing and hugging and stuff!!... Who could possibly have a bad day then? It would be like Saturday's Warriors in REAL LIFE! Wow...

Another week in Texas

Ya, so I stayed an extra week. Why? A few reasons...

Some would say that a good Friday night for me would be watching muppets with my cat... some would be correct.

Some would say that excessive whiskers are not allowed at the Y... and some would be too lazy to shave.

Some would say that I should stay for free labor, light-hearted company, and access to the most cutting-edge games of legos and z-bots... and again, some would be correct.

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame, but I know (da da da da da) it's my own pants fault.

In all honesty, there are lots of reasons, but one main reason can be summed up in one word: NAE!

It's easy to find her when she tells you where she is going to hide.

It's kind of Hot Outside

I should probably be outside shoveling dirt or moving junk out of the shed... but I'm hesitant to do so unless dad is here. I fear working for no purpose... you know, doing something wrong and making zero progress. What's the point in that? Character building?
Anyways, I don't have EFY until the 26th, so I might not shave until then. I have the little mustache going on, and it's not so hot, but who am I trying to impress here? It is starting to itch, unfortunately.
Last Friday I actually went on a date. I wasn't really expecting to do anything like it, but I did. Thanks Jonno. Anyways, it was with Jon's girlfriend's sister, so it didn't feel much like a date, but I do wish more girls were like her. She likes dorks without muscles... I could use this as a pick-up line, "Hi, I'm Todd. I watch muppets for fun, read girly books like Twilight, and I love the word 'pants' ". Well, we went to the Astros game and it was awesome! Friday night fireworks! What could ruin the night then?...
How about the Rockets getting knocked out of the playoffs by a big bunch of cheaters! If anyone remembers my "Lament" poem from 2004 about the Astros, I'm working on a new one as we speak.
This week has been kind of slow, just a lot of working outside. I did take mom to see Iron Man as an early mother's day present (so what if she paid!) and I thought it was bomb-sha-bomb. And dad's mower is so much fun I drove it three blocks just to mow Marianne's acre or so. Hoowah! I'm just getting warmed up!

I'm done...

Quality Time with Pops

One of my chief duties during this hiatus at home is being dad's chauffeur. Did I spell that right? In case you didn't catch that, it's the word that sounds like "show-fur"... Anyways, I got to drive him to Sugarland on Sunday and then to Austin today, which is the main theme of today's blog.
Dad and I attended the funeral of Matt Bruder today in Austin. Ya, I have no idea who he is either, but dad works with his dad and we got to know their family a little bit today. And for the second time in my life, I attended a non-LDS funeral, but this one was Lutheran and not Methodist. Interesting... it really is. I think lots of other faiths are catching on to the idea of eternal families and promoting similar ideas. Who wouldn't? The words said today concerning the life of the deceased were similar to those that we heard or said ourselves in January, but concerning belief and what happens now on this new "journey" of his... there was a lot more uncertainty. Not many people out there are really focused on the eternal scheme of things. Occasions like this bring it all more into perspective.
On a side note, we ate at Makeska's barbecue and I spilled sauce all over my pants... typical. We also got a few cases of Guarana, so if anyone needs a pick-me-up, stop on by and enjoy. Tomorrow is another big day, and not only because it's game six.
Did anyone else get really angry when the crowd in Utah chanted "over-rated" when T-Mac was at the line in game 4?

At home again

I know, everyone sees me every day when I am in Texas, so what's the point of blogging? Well, not everyone... there's always Jake and Lindsey's up in Utah and Becky in Arizona and Pete wherever he is.
So I've been home for a week now, and it's been super so far. I'm finding plenty to keep me occupied, and that's what makes life great. From hanging with my nephews and nieces to mowing the lawn on dad's new super-mower, I'm all set! And I enjoy the weather where I don't have to wear pants every day. Texas is like a no-pants zone after all...
...everybody wears shorts here.
Anyways, the only downfall of being home is a severe lack of social life... though this too can be remedied. We shall see...

Deep Thoughts

Are there ever any winners in this race of life? We know there are those who lose, but does anyone truly finish, or do they just survive? We could be at the head of every runner on the track, but it doesn't really matter, because tomorrow we only wake up to run the same race again. And the running makes us all so very tired...

Good thing I have the gospel and this philosophy is not a true reflection of my view of life. Time to pack my pants, see you tomorrow!

O Me of Little Faith

How sweet it is to be done with finals! Unfortunately, that's about as far as the sweetness goes...
As far as grades for the finals, they weren't stellar by any means (at least the ones I know about so far), but you never know what the curve holds in store. I worked my pants off and kept up on my homework this semester, that's what matters...
As far as finances, I want to be a red-blooded American and sue every time I think of Provo Police, or whoever handles parking violations. Ya, they gave me two tickets for one violation, less than six hours apart. Can they do that? Apparently they can, because I appealed them and the fines upheld, effectively screwing me out of 60 bucks. That's the equivalent of over 7 games of officiating. I did get the parking violation for campus voided, so that spared me 30 bucks. Nevertheless, I will still fight the city of Provo, so help me! This is one bowl of spinach life has thrown at me that I am going to throw right back!
I parked on half a red curb, by the way. The first ticket was given at 9 A.M., the next at 2 P.M. I was at school for both.
As far as the Rockets... I'm sorry, but it's over. This is not their season. We gave up two games at home to the Utah Spazz, and now we take them on in Salt Lake. Maybe next year right? We made history with 22, that's what almost matters...
And the finale, how goes it with the ladies? Have you ever had something on your computer not work, and you try the same thing over and over again to try and make it work, but it doesn't? Then a few weeks or a month go by, and you figure time has passed so maybe it will work now... but does it ever? Considering I used a computer analogy, you may be guessing the lady life isn't too hot. Yes, computers and ladies... two of the most frustrating things in my life. Along with Rockets and parking tickets and finals...
Sorry for the venting blog. I'm actually really happy right now. I'm going home in two days!! And if I was a giant hot dog, I'd probably eat myself!

Reflections of a retired official

My job is over... officially.
*snicker*

I just thought I'd take some time to reflect on the good times and the whimsical times and the times that made me want to punch somebody. We'll start with some of my favorite quotes from the intramural participants:

"Are you kidding me?"
(This is what I would say in my head to respond to this frequent question)
"Yes, I am kidding you. Let me just take that call back, because my job is just one big joke, and when I blow my whistle, it's just for fun... really."

"Hey, I know you guys are calling it fair, but call it both ways, ok."
(Again, my imagined response)
"Did you hear what you just said?"

"We're losing because of the refs!" (paraphrased)
This was said by a team that had only 4 players and lost by about 25 points. After this and several other uncalled for comments, the player was yellow carded and the game ended prematurely.

"What are your names?" (from a disgruntled player)
"My name is Todd Martin, I work for Emily Andrews in 145 RB. You can reach her from 10-5 on any weekday." That wasn't an imagined response.

"Double-you tee EFF!!!" (from one of the fans)
This one was hilarious for some reason to me. Have you ever seen an official burst out in laughter in the middle of a game?

"If there is contact, is that not a foul?"
"If your question is any more loaded, will it make a difference?" (My imagined response for the infinity times this question was posed)

Then there was the time where I called a "pantsing" foul on the guy who pulled down the pants of his defender to get open. Good times.

Then we have those classic instances where a team in desperation throws off one last hail-mary in the football game, which quickly becomes anybody's ball and as such there is a collision of half a dozen players going for the horrible pass. Afterward, the offensive players get up and stare at you waiting for a PI call to bail them out of their bad decisions. Nope... then you become responsible for their loss. Jon knows what I'm talking about.
And then in basketball, a player makes a ridiculous drive to the basket, loses balance and maybe grazes off an established defender or two, falls on the ground and, wait for it... yup there it is, the accusatory stare at you for not calling a foul. As a result, his man is left undefended and therefore gets an easy drive to the basket. Sweet justice.

One of my last games I reffed last night was 9 on 9 football. One team told me three or four times to watch for the split (a type of illegal rush when a defensive player runs between two offensive players less than a yard apart). Frankly, I can't call a split when the rushers are going around their players. Of course, I understand why they wanted it. One of the rushers was a girl. Ya, the only girl in the whole league. She must have got like five sacks that game, so of course, something about the rush had to be illegitimate. Of course! Later on the captain of the losing team found me in the hall of the RB and thanked me for throwing away the game for them. "No problem, any time!" That wasn't an imagined response either.

And I wrote about my last basketball game experience. Boy, when I called that foul, the crowd erupted to rival anything I've ever seen in the Marriot Center... or Minute Maid Park for that matter. All four of the players on that team were up in my face. Was I 100% sure that was a foul? No... Did I know there was only .3 seconds left on the clock? No... Am I glad I called that foul? Sure! We didn't have to go into overtime!

And so ends my career of dealing with poor sports, sore losers, whiners, egos, smart aleks, brawlers, and the occasional grateful saint who realized what you did was keep order in the game. Well, it may not be the final end of such, I could see myself coming back... but not for a while. The hours are just preventing me from doing so much I want to do, and this remains the principle reason why I won't be back next fall as an intramural referee.

Book of The Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 1
1. And it came to pass on the last hour of the last day at work, the man of little consequence did blow his whistle with but .3 seconds left of the tied game.
2. And the crowd was wroth and did breathe out much threatenings against him.
3. Therefore the man of little consequence did rejoice in ending his career as a referee in such manner, knowing all these things gave him experience and were for his good...
4. Nevertheless he besought his friend, Phil, who was large in stature to accompany him to his vehicle.

5. And it came to pass that on the next day, the man of little consequence took his mother and sister and nephew on a journey to the city of Salt Lake, and they visited the place where they display the artifacts of the history of Israel (or as some say, Church History Museum) and he was so moved that he spoke and wrote in archaic manner for the remainder of the week... or at least for this blog.
6. And on the journey back to the land of Orem, they did sup at Wingers, where the nephew of the man of little consequence did dip his hand in the ketchup and suck upon it.
7. And the mother of the nephew of the man of little consequence was wroth for her son did so with his hand and not his french fry.

8. And it came to pass that on the next day, the sun was hot, and the man of little consequence, being ignorant, did go forth to ref football anticipating colder weather. And his forehead and scalp and nose were burnt exceedingly sorely, and the word sorely was invented on the spot.
9. Nevertheless, the pain was but a small thing for the joy he had that night when the man of little consequence took the girl who will not be named to the festival of cacaphonous revelry (or as some say, the Ballroom Dance Concert). And she was much impressed by his culture, and did reward him with a genuine hug.
10. For all other women had as of yet given him sideways hugs...
11. And the man of little consequence thought to himself, 'For this act alone I may tell my father that I have done all that he asked me to do this weekend'.

12. And it came to pass that on the next day, being the first day of the week, before the man of little consequence even retired the previous day (therefore the term 'next day' may be considered a technicality) during the first hour of the morning, he was called upon by his brother-in-law.
13. And so he journeyed to the dwelling of his brother-in-law, where he entertained his nephew until the fourth hour of the afternoon.
14. And all this was because the mother of the nephew of the man of little consequence gave birth to the sister of the nephew of the man of little consequence.
15. Art thou yet annoyed at the superfluous words concerning the family of the man of little consequence?
16. And they named the child Elizabeth Marie, being after the middle names of her mother and grandmother.
17. And her initials would then be EMR.
18. Lindsey wept.
19. And the man of little consequence had reason to repent, for he had missed his Sabbath meeting for the first time in forty years.
20. Knowest thou that he is not yet forty years old? Therefore it is an exaggeration, albeit an accurate one.

21. This is the account of the most recent weekend of the man of little consequence.
22. And it can be said that it passed away as it were a dream, yea, a glorious and hectic dream.
23. Now behold, he has forgotten his pillow at the dwelling of his brother-in-law, and therefore must take on the night with great discomfort, even as a man whose pants are too thick in the summer.

Happy Weekend!

I finished last week with a pretty good score, doing well on my music test and presentation and then getting accepted into my fifth and final EFY week, the second in San Antonio! I was so excited about that one I almost wet my pants!
Anyways, conference was this weekend, which is like Christmas and then some considering my family was going to be here, or most of them at least.
I eat so much sugar when dad visits...
Dad, Jake and I spent pretty much all of Saturday in Salt Lake, from the morning session to the priesthood session. In between I met up with some mission buddies, and went to the afternoon session in the Joseph Smith Memorial building where we missed half of Elder Scott and Elder Perry due to a sudden evacuation of the building. I needed a pick-me-up around that time anyways.
And the day would have been worth it just to see President Monson wiggle his ears!
So you know I wasn't the little boy in his story, because I would have wiggled my ears right back, and flared my nostrils, crossed my eyes, and quoted the entirety of Monty Python! (For a full list of my uncanny talents, probably just add Muppet Treasure Island to the quotables)
Now they've all gone (except mom) and I'm back to the harsh reality of being on the brink of tears in the bloody testing center with a half-finished calc test in front of me. I also have four shifts of tournament reffing to look forward to (including 1-5 on Saturday, gag!), but when it's all said and done, I'll only have one week left of this semester.
And the Rockets play on.

Things I want to do before I'm through with BYU

1. Compete in raquetball intramurals.
2. Play the caralon (bell tower) again. I've already done it once.
3. Participate in a talent show where I sing my version of "Long December"... called "Long Semester"
4. Hear someone rip one really loud in the testing center... even if it's me.
5. Use the bathroom in every building on campus (there's about 200 or so, I've tagged probably about 15).
6. Go on a date with a different girl every day for a week, maybe excluding Sunday.
7. Have a picnic on top of the SWKT.
8. Instead of greeting people with the usual "Hello", or "How are you?", I'll say, "Giddyup!" or "Nice Pants" for like a month... or just a day.
9. Audition for some singing group, maybe Vocal Point... ya right...
10. Graduate with a MRS degree, with all benefits included.


It's not an ALL inclusive list of my goals here. Each one could be a cool story to remember about BYU though.

Embarrassing Moments

Don't give Lindsey all the credit for having temporary brain lapses. This one is not so much embarrassing as it is simply blonde.
So I get done with work last night and feel like I should go get some groceries. I need a pizza or something to keep me company as I enjoy the last of season 3 of the office. I don't have any pockets in my pants so I just carry my wallet and keys with me. As soon as I'm done shopping, I put all the groceries in the trunk of my car and shut it... and then realize I've just made a stupid and costly mistake. So, an hour and 44 dollars later, the Pop-A-Lock guy gets me back into my car and I enjoy my weekend.

44 Dollars! There goes my Jazz-Rockets game.

She never called back...

This thing in my pocket... it's like a time-bomb, always counting down, but I cannot see the timer. I have no idea when the detonation comes, bringing an explosion of anxiety and awkwardness yet a most ecstatic joy. Was there relief when the expectations were never fulfilled? No, only disappointment and frustration, as cold and silent as this device in my pocket. Again, it was a dud.

Dig?

There are answers to every problem

You may think that the title here is a reference to school. Nope. I don't really think there are answers to all the problems in calculus. There are more problems involved, but no answers...
Just to let everyone know, I sacrificed watching the Boston/Houston game to go to the temple Tuesday night. Therefore the loss wasn't too devastating. The next day against New Orleans was much more depressing, so much so that I overdosed on old Office episodes and free cell while listening to my I-tunes playlist titled "Blue Funk". Not a whole lot of homework getting done lately... And if Houston loses again to either Golden State or Phoenix, I'm going to the temple again on Saturday.
In the meantime, I have a temporary in place of the ceramic stump in my mouth. So from a distance, I would appear to have a normal smile. Get closer and things get wierd. And I have had tenderness now in my front teeth since Saturday that make me a very cautious eater, abstaining from good stuff like hamburgers and hot-dogs. Not like I ever ate those anyways...
So besides the smile, I don't look so bad right now. I'm wearing a shirt that I bought BY MYSELF at the mall the other day for dance-sport. Maybe it'll give me enough confidence to ask a girl out or something. These are really nice pants too... did you notice? That girl over there on the other end of the library certainly did... or maybe I just imagined that. Let's go find out!
Uh... later.

21! What could get me down?

So if any of you have seen those NBA commercials, "Where amazing happens..." with the haunting piano music, you'll know where I'm coming from here. I really like those commercials... except the one that features solely Dirk Nowikzi, but that's a personal thing. Here's what I would put:

Where ugliest man in the NBA happens...



Where Denver Thuggets happen, or pretend to happen...


Where biggest ego in the world happens...

Where history happens!!


Where fans that go a little too far happens...

Who needs pants anyways?

So despite having a 'not-the-best-of-days' Saturday, I'm still on top of the world!! And everyone around the block knows it! Well, they know somethings up with that weird kid in a jersey going for an evening jog...
SO, I knew Friday was going to be a big day, as well as Saturday. What do I need for big days?




I don't know if it did much for me though... I did go watch Enchanted, and I'll admit I enjoyed it. Why does James Marsden get all the fun roles? Then Saturday rolled around and I was up early in the morning to go to Dance Sport. It was so much fun, but bitterly disappointing when my partner and I did not get recalled to the third round. Even after she pulled my tie right in the middle of the cha-cha! What were the judges thinking!!!? Fortunately that meant I got to go home in time for the last intramural game before tournament. Unfortunately I only played for like two minutes before I caught a cranium in my mouth:

Yup, the missing tooth was one of the porcelain ones... it pretty much disintegrated in my mouth. And the big one next to it is painfully loose. Not dentist would take me today, so I'm living with it until Monday... I can eat still, it just takes a lot of concentration. After that, I went to one of my roommate's birthday party. They had hamburgers, but I had to eat mine with a fork. It kind of diminishes the enjoyment of it all, really... I got home in time to take a church history test, but not really when I found out the testing center closes at 4 on Saturdays, so I'll have to pay a late fee to take it on Monday. That's twice now...

So it happens again... It's kind of scary how so many things happen in common with Jon and I. Then again, maybe that means I could get a girlfriend soon... or it won't happen until I graduate from BYU.
Who cares? As long as Dikembe keeps shaking that finger and T-Mac keeps ripping on Charles Barkley, it's all good. Top of the Western conference... who'd have thunk it?