February Starts with F

It's February. But don't worry... I'm cancelling my birthday this year. Ya, it's not a good time to be 27, so I am gonna be 26 for another year.
You know, I'm actually supposed to be 28, but I was so naughty when I was younger that my parents took away my birthday... twice! The nephews and nieces don't believe me and say you can't do such a thing... but I'm warning you kids, those threats of getting spankings and takings away of birthdays are not as empty as you think!
That being said, just because I'm cancelling my birthday DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T WANT PRESENTS!! Or cake... or lasagna.
What presents do you say? How about a cat. A real cat. I'm ready to start my collection now. Also, a Schipperke dog. Also a Dodge Viper. Also a gizillion dollars. You know, I'm keeping it simple this year.
One of my New Years resolutions was to not mention the F word for the whole month of February. I've been thinking so much about the F word lately, but I'm not going to say such things on this blog, not in the month of February. I'm so tired of F words as it is. That's because I live in Atlanta where there are lots of F words. And then there's Valentine's Day where most everyone is thinking of F words. Plus getting older in the church makes everyone look at you and think: WTF? (Where's the F word?)

By F word, I mean the opposite of male. You knew that, right?