Remember that "Game Show"?

Ok, so we're playing that quote game again, where you name where the quote is from. Since last one was so freaking hard, this time I'll at least give you a category.

"ALIEN INVASION"

1. "Everyone is trying to get out of Washington, and we're the only schmucks trying to get in."
2. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."
3. "Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack, ack, ack, ack."
4. "It's a little hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer? It would be great to know that... that would be a very convenient truth."
5. "How do you know boards will do anything?" "Cause they seem to have a problem with pantry doors."
6. "What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."
7. "Don't answer him." "You will answer me." ... "I'd rather not choose sides."
8. "Why isn't anyone just whelmed?"
9. "Feel that? It's the gravitational pull of your average sun. Makes flying through space very dangerous. The bigger you are, the faster you burn. Gravity's a &@#*!"
10. "They're hugging. That's all these males ever do. That's why the females chuck 'em down here."
11. "Excuse me, can I have another order of fries? Because my friend here is fat." "Funny, Chompers! At least I don't need a booster seat."
12. "Hey! Hey! Hey! What the?!"
13. "For instance, on the planet Earth, Man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the third most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were of course dolphins who, curiously enough, had long known of the impending destruction of the planet earth."
14. "I don't like sand. It's course and rough and irritating... and it gets everywhere."
15. "I wonder if there really is life on other planets?" "What do you care? You don't have a life on this planet."  (ensuing familiar laughter)

One more hint for you: they ain't all movies.

Dream Journal

I got home from work the other day and sat down and fell asleep. Those late afternoon naps can produce some pretty trippy dreams.
This time it was... wait for it... The Hunger Cat Games!!
Oh how cliche, right!?
Tell you what, I don't recall the visuals of this one, but it came with this really catchy/annoying R&B song that  had the rap portion like, "Here's a little ditty about two little kitties who got together one day and played heroes in the city..." and then the singing chorus was like "Cuz it's the hunger cat games!! It sets the city a flame! So best remember these names! And watch the hunger cat games!"
Of course this means nothing to my readership without the melody, which is playing in my head and is phenomenal.
Speaking of melodies that I can't translate onto this blog...
Last night I had a few dreams. The first one was about being at a waterpark with some old high school friends only to have the power go out. And here comes a really tough visual so let's see how I can describe it... Imagine your typical rec-center pool with ceramic tiles and poor lighting. Make it big, like RB multiple pool big. And all the patrons of this indoor water park who weren't walking around with me were just chilling in these tiny one-person hot tub like things until the power came back on. It was like a bunch of people in a people-sized sea turtle farm, if you've ever been to one of those and know what I mean. Anyways, I decided to play billiards in this pool house--a pun which I failed to catch in the dream--and I was sorting through all the different billiards balls with a bunch of strangers before everything switched over to a dance club.
This is where the music comes in... later on.
So I was being really kinda mean and foul-mouthed in this dream, plus I had red hair. And I was talking to somebody when this chubby black kid got in front of me in the line for whatever it was we were lining up for. I got mad and may have called him a fat bleep. But keep reading!
He ran off crying.
BUT I felt so bad about it that I tracked him down after that dance class thing and found him walking through the building with a bag full of McDonalds.
The first thing I did was apologize. The next thing I did was take his bag of Mickey D's from him. Poor kid.
Can you believe there were six hamburgers in there? Plus a large fries!!! Not to mention the soda he had in his hand. Man, I was ready to do this kid a favor.
So I let him eat a few more burgers, and then I put the remainders on a bench and got out my lighter that I always carry with me cause I'm a red-headed bad A. I got up on the bench and lit the lighter underneath a sprinkler just like on the movies, and then told the kid, "Now watch what happens when these things get wet." And the sprinklers rained on the burgers and they just melted into brownish goo that made that poor kid and me in real life never want to eat McDonalds again.
And that's when the music started. I worked with that kid, from feeding him salads and tuna tetrazzini to switching his video games from Grand Theft Auto to NBA 2k13, and the music was like, "Step into tomorrow!!" and it showed him on that Biggest Loser montage thing go from chubby black kid to husky Native American teenager... weird.
Then I woke up feeling only slightly vindicated by the happy ending and much more worried about what I am watching on TV these days.