Dear Culture

I'm writing this post because I'm looonely!!!!...
...and BORED!!

For real, I suppose it's time to actually put words on here instead of my favorite animated gifs. Since the summer time is over and we're entering the most wonderful time of the year (for everybody not in school), I'm gonna write my thoughts on what went down this summer... because I wrote about how awesome fall is last year.

I did social things this summer--like social things beyond FHE and institute. Yeah, I'm talking YSA conferences. Two of them. Out of state. Social quota for the year FILLED!
Now what is it that most people think in their minds is the purpose of a single person going to single events filled with singles yet unfamiliar to that single person? And just for emphasis, let me say the word six more times until it starts to be phonetically humorous: "SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE!!"
Yes! Single people are meant to not be single anymore, especially so in this church. At least, that is what church culture tells us, and there is some indirect doctrine to support this culture as well, but let me put a disclaimer here: everyone is an individual and is on their own individual path. The 'when'--or perhaps the 'if'--is different for everyone.
That being said, what is everyone's expectations of every single person--sometimes including themselves--when they go to any sort of co-ed social gathering, whether it be a two hour party or a week long YSA conference (which may not actually exist... mine were only weekend-long this summer)? That's right. Everyone expects you to fulfill priority one: GETTIN DIGITS!
Yes, we must speed up the process of perfection for the dudes, cause we all know they ain't gettin  there by themselves! The faster we slap a wife on them and get them out of the bachelorHOOD the better. Therefore, people prolonging whatever relationships developed over an ephemeral get-together can't help but be a good thing, right?
Well, I for one find the cultural mandate (emphasis on 'man') of getting chicks' numbers very shallow. It makes me feel a lot like these guys:

I mean, think about it--you got a girl's number, great! What made you go after that specific girl? Was it her blazing testimony that was apparent after you first laid eyes on her? Probably not.
It's her looks. Even if you just fall in love with someone's charm and wit, what made you go up and talk to them in the first place? In the short span of time that you had to get to know a multitude of potentially worthy females, you picked one, or two, or three, or seven to focus your attention on and risk rejection in case there is chance for more.
You know this is what "getting numbers" is based on. Don't fool yourself and think otherwise.
Does this make it an evil practice? No! It's just, to varying degrees, a shallow one. I'm sure a lot of good things have come from this.
So it's really just me. I never go to these YSA conferences with even the intention of meeting new people, and that statement probably drew a few gasps from my audience. It probably made some of the more austere people in the audience shake their heads and say, "And THAT's why he's still single..." To some degree, you are correct in your deduction. I'll admit to that.
I'll also say that I'm not a super saint that is all about a girl's inner beauty. Heaven knows I got shallowness issues...
So why the crusade here?
Perhaps I am justifying my own social cowardice. Perhaps this is just Bitter-Bachelor Todd railing on the pressures of getting hitched... again. Or, perhaps there are much deeper issues relating to my own family that give me pause before I jump headlong into a relationship with a girl that I've known for less than six months. When it comes down to it, I'm not even sure I truly know.
But the "Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number call me maybe" always just felt wrong to me.
Opinion done. Stay in school kids!

Reason for graduating from bachelorhood number 47: This has NEVER EVER worked!