This is how I know the universe revolves around me:
Dinosaur Comics, one of my favorite things about waking up every day, was all about this today.
Today is a national holiday: Fat Tuesday. What did I have to eat today? A bacon cheeseburger and an XXL stuffed burrito from Taco Bell. Yup. This national holiday is all about me.
A step ladder went out of its way today just to be hit on the highway by the very car I was driving. Don't worry. No sexagenarians were injured in the incident. Also no 29 year olds. Just a flat tire.
!!!
Yes. 29. As much as I petition father time to let me slide, he only speeds things up. Next thing you know I'll wake up being like... 30 or something. That's beyond menace. That's like Sith Lord in the Mormon church, and not dashing and mysterious Vader... we're talking Palpatine.With that reference is there any wonder I'm still single?
Anyways, no offense to any of my 30+ single male readers in the Mormon church. Last time I checked, I didn't have any of those, but I gotta put that in there just to cover my bases.
So there you have it. Irrefutable evidence that this universe exists only so I can live in it. So if anyone wants to know how the most important man in the world is spending the 29th anniversary of his graduation from the pre-mortal experience, just know that it involves hanging out with cats. And not much else.
So I gotta go. The kids are supposed to surprise me here in a bit. Huzzah!
See you with the next trippy dream! Still waiting for it...
2 comments:
Hey! I don't appreciate the 30 year old remark! lol
It's ok Hillary, it doesn't apply to girls. Nobody ever told the women of the church that they were menaces to society. That I know of...
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