BLOGGER TEMPLATES - TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Some Thoughts From a Muggle

You know what bothers me about Rowling's world of magic most? I mean, besides that absurd Quidditch game scoring (I know, plot reasons, Harry has to be the most important in EVERYTHING)...
It's the ease by which everyone can kill each other!
I mean, all you have to say is two gibberish words and BOOM headshot! Except it doesn't have to be a headshot. I assume you can Avada Kedavra someone in the butt or on their foot even and they stone-cold die. So what was so special about Bellatrix killing Sirius? What was so terrifying about the whole Death-Eaters in the first place? They're shooting off roman candles at each other while all they really need to do is rehearse the killing curse phrase over and over again. That's all Bellatrix had to do in her final battle against the Weasley gingers, but she giggles instead until she somehow disintegrates because Mrs. Weasley scowls so intently at her. Why? I dunno. Because magic.
So, in the magical world, it is tradition to give 11 year-olds the equivalent of a magical gun that never runs out of ammo. And they take it to school. And the school is full of raging hormonal teenagers. And the school deliberately polarizes these students by putting them into separate houses. And one of the houses happens to have all the offspring of known sociopathic killers.
If I was Peeves the Poltergeist, I'd be whispering to Lavender Brown, "It's so easy, Lavender. All you have to do is say two words and point your wand at Hermione. Then all the competition for Won Won will be gone gone!"
Or, I could be a new dark wizard that bests Harry Potter simply by duct taping my wand to my hands, so he's like "Expelliarmus!! Hey... WTF?" And I'm like, "LOL, Avada Kedavra. Boom. Hufflepuffs FOREVER!!" Then I Imperius curse my way to the top of the Muggle world and live in luxury and infamy to the end of my immortal days (immortal cause I'd throw a few horcruxes in there just for kicks).
Then I read back on what I have posted... oh man, I'm evil!

....

Pretty stellar for my first post since the second round of the NBA playoffs, and my first non-sports post since February, eh? What can I say... these days my thoughts are so deep that I am having a lot of trouble... retrieving... them. Yup. See you in six months!

2 comments:

Laurel said...

genius about the duct tape

Laurel said...

genius with the duct tape!