efy: The Summer of Some Consequence

For so long, the blog has been silent... some of you may think that there is nothing happening in my silly summer life. At this moment, you would be correct to assume as much. But before...

So on Saturday last week, I retired the bright green and salmon polos and kahki pants for the summer of 2009. As is typical for one like me, I feel it's time to reflect on the six weeks of dancing, yelling, screaming, singing, slapping, napping, clapping, spazzing, smiling, laughing, crying, eating, sitting, stressing, and pretty much floating on this surreal feeling of being someone during my lazy summer days.

Totalling it all up between 'Steady and Sure' and 'Be Thou an Example', I've now been counselor to over 100 young men, from Texas to Utah to Canada to Australia and some odd places in between. I've had 18 co-counselors, 2 brethren and 16 sisters. Apart from my co's, I've gotten a grand total of two numbers and zero dates... thus far. This year I dealt with slight autism, depression, bad roommate mojo, A.D.D., A.D.H.D., ninjas, and pot, among other things (and I'm not just talking about myself)... snicker. Through all this, I am continually amazed at how small this Mormon world is and how it continues to shrink! For instance, this last week in Provo I had a youth from my home stake in Texas... well, he doesn't live there anymore, but if anyone knows the Bassetts, let them know that Redford should have a weeklong timeout for kicking his counselor and almost getting him busted for late-night Wendy's. I also saw many of my participants from last year, and even had one in my company for the SECOND TIME! What are the odds? Poor kid... he went to Provo the first year and then San Antonio the second to try and escape me. He was also shorter than me last year and this year he had about half a foot on me.

I don't plan on making another narcissistic slide show this year, but I did manage to get pictures with all of my boys and most of my co's (except week 4) and they will soon be posted on Facebook. For now, I am reconstructing my vagabond life and trying to find my niche in Provo again. I did get an inside connection to the Daily Universe... you never know.

Provo 1A: After the Trial
Highlights of this week: One of my youth pulling a butt muscle during a small game of football, my Samoan youth trying to down an entire Martinelli and losing it in a similar way to a baby's spit-up, and another of my youth calling one of my co's up during the variety show to be serenaded by his version of 'Fly Me to the Moon'--so smooth.

Provo 3A: Night of Darkness
Highlights: Apart from Cannon center dining, there was the bonus of a free-time company volleyball game, the notorious Plunger man banging on everyone's door (looking for his shampoo while only wearing a loin-cloth), and dancing with a really cute counselor that I probably will never see again... sigh...

Provo 4A: Tell You All Things
This was a particularly small group. I only had six boys, and the only reason I was working this week was because I inherited it from another counselor who could not. Lots of walking, lots of this silly game called 'Birdman', a participant who eerily resembled a young version of Barrack Obama, and a co-counselor who knew how to social dance. Too bad they never play counselor dance cha-cha's.

San Antonio 2: Seek Ye
Lowlights of this week: A pothead. Everything else was great though. I really do think I enjoy the San Antonio EFY's more than the Provo ones, because the kids here don't come from schools surrounded by a thousand mormons, so it means a bit more to them to be in this kind of environment. Plus the memories of seven some odd years ago when I was an awkward youth...
I also had my first black youth this week. I feel so complete as a counselor (though I would like an Asian)!

San Antonio 3: Cannot Fall
Highlights: Painting the fingernails with 'EFY', line dancing to N-Sync (the video is on Facebook), and retaining my manhood the whole time.

Provo 10B: Sent Forth By Power
Highlights: Introducing the Power Ranger theme which carried pretty much the whole week, busting some ninjas late Wednesday night (and I quote them: "Ninja disappear!"), and becoming the best counselor in the world with a late night delivery from Wendy's to my boys. Then again, Saturday morning breakfast I could just hear Captain Jack Sparrow saying to me, "In case you were waiting for the opportune moment... that was it".

Ya, I know... a lot of long stories condensced into smaller inside jokes. Hey, if I ever see you in person, I can let you know all about it if you have the time--like twenty some odd hours.
Disclaimer: The author is not a pothead.