As I Sit Here on My Bum

I've been thinking... Why is it so bad to be a "pain in someone's rear?" Obviously, "rear" is not always the word used in this instance, but since some children read my blog (i.e. myself) I need to censor the more common phraseology. Anyways, isn't the rear your most resilient body part? I mean, if I got shot somewhere, I would want to get shot in my glutes rather than, say, my funny bone. "Man, you're a real pain in the funny bone!" Or what about the fingers? So many nerve endings there... just think of how much a paper-cut hurts compared to a spanking. For those of you reading this who are too old to remember how much a spanking hurts, let me assure you, they're not that bad. "Man, you're a real pain in the finger!"
I guess if you intend to sit down a whole lot, a pain in your bum would be a bit more of a hassel. Like if I had a splinter in my cheeks that just dug deeper every time I found a nice chair, I guess life could get miserable enough to warrant a younger sibling donning that moniker.
Wait a minute... that's all the time... for pretty much everybody!
Way to go, America. Because we are so sedentary, annoying people are pains in our aces instead of pains in our feet.
Speaking of sedentary America, I think it's funny when morning kid shows are all about singing to the kids to go and get up and get outside and run around or dance and stuff... funny that it comes from a kid's show that is all about keeping the kids in front of the TV. How often do you see your nephews or nieces or grandchildren or children what-have-you actually move (much less get up and stretch out) during Hot Dog Hot Dog Hot Diggity Dog? It just doesn't make any sense...
Like GEICO commercials. They often have NOTHING to do with insurance whatsoever. And beer commercials... why don't they depict those parties like what they actually looked like (people breaking things, barfing, walking around with their pants down and going to jail and stuff)? Then again, the whole alcohol industry doesn't make any sense. It's a reckless waste of life, killing more people in the United States than any other factor--thus one way we avoid the destroying angel by living the word of wisdom. And yet, without the alcohol industry, the American economy would collapse much like the Soviet Union did.
Silly America... what a pain in the arsenal.