The Adventures of Adventure Haver!

Volume 1:
Warning, extreme nerdage and cheesiness is about to ensue, so if you need that cool feeling back after reading this, be sure to go pick on some little children, preferably those who wear glasses and denim shorts.


Now I get to the story. I had heard reports of a nasty treant that was threatening the neighborhood of Angel Grove... I mean Angleton. This sounded like a job for... (insert sound effect here) ADVENTURE HAVER!!
So I arrived early in the morning on the perpetrators doorstep. It was a pine. A pine ent. You know, an ent like those crazy walking trees on Lord of the Rings. Luckily, I was prepared. Before that stupid ent could even react, I had a ladder on its haunches and I was perched in its blind spot up in its own branches. Come to think of it, I've never seen eyes on an ent. Maybe they just feel vibrations like a spider in its web.
This ent was furious! It was still looking for revenge for Ferngully. I had to scrap this wood, but it wouldn't be easy. Then again, anything is easy with my plus four Echo gasoline powered deluxe laser chainsaw straight from the Man Factory. Ok, maybe there was no laser involved with the chainsaw, but what is an adventure without lasers? Or explosions? We'll get to those.
So I hacked off the monster's head with my chainsaw and much to my surprise, the whole tree exploded! We're talking like nuclear Chuck Norris explosion! I took the brunt of the blast and saved some cowering squirrels, and was afterward heralded as a great hero! Unfortunately, the explosion gave me a concussion and knocked me out for nearly two minutes so I couldn't even enjoy the rhino-floppin loads of honeys that showered me with praise. I was awarded 70 gillion dollars by the CIA though.
You were good, Mr. Ent, but you weren't fast enough for... (sound effect) ADVENTURE HAVER!!!
Until next time kids! PUNT!!