Book of the Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 8:

1. And the days of the summer ran low, and the man of little consequence felt the time running away as sand through the fingers of time.
2. And in those days he would often go forth from door to door as a cheap beggar, and offer a service that was indeed necessary, but not oftenly so. And the word oftenly may be deemed a mistranslation.
3. But the days were hot, and the walking made him faint and the sun beat upon his forehead as if he were a red-headed stepchild.
4. And there were some who would rebuke him for his begging, for they had a fixed resolution against strangers that would stand at their doors and knock. For this the man did mourn, for he was saddened when others hated him without truly knowing him, or even ever reading his blog.
5. So he was determined to find a new way of his begging, and this way would not replace the old way, but fulfill it.
6. But the Lord sought to teach him patience, and made him forgetful and caused the printer at his sister's to run out of ink.
7. And after a fruitless day the man did weep and wail and gnash his teeth, and he sought out small creatures to exact arbitrary vengeance upon.
8. But after this he was humbled, and sat down in sackcloth and ashes in front of his computer and vented his feelings through mock scripture.
9. Thus began his psalm:

10. The Lord has taught me patience this day, but tomorrow is another day, and I thirst anyway, so bring on the rain!
11. But may I now discount this last statement, and not only for copywright purposes, but also because it occurreth to me that my trials are indeed small.
12. For on the morrow I shall raise my head from my pillow (which calleth to me now) and choose happiness, and then shall I go forward with cheer like a whimsical advertising slogan.
13. And though I am tender-eyed and the ladies look but once then cast their eyes about for something more attractive or expensive, I have been given skills such as Bo-Staff skills and Pumbelling* skills and FreeCell skills that surely they would adore had they knowledge of.
14. Thou thought that thou wouldst make it through a chapter without the mention of ladies, didst thou? I say unto thee, it is not so.
15. And the Lord has placed the place of dog-foodish cheap things to eat (or as some would say, Taco Bell) upon this earth, that despite the pangs to my stomach the taste still lingers in my mouth that cost me so little.
16. For though the lady told others at the counter to have a great day, unto me she wished that my proceedings would be... awesome.

17. And after this silly and meaningless and rather uninspired psalm, the man of little consequence went forth and sought from that time forward to make his life... awesome.
18. But not until he rested for a night. Brethren, adieu.

*Footnote: derived from the English word "Pummel" meaning the random punishments dealt out to those smaller than the man of little consequence, particularly his nephews