Why I'm Excited to Graduate

Let me tell you a parable: there once were two men, and one said, "I go a shopping," and the other said, "Buy me some milk, or on the morrow, I shall have yours." So the man went and bought milk for himself and the other man, knowing that his threat was indeed valid (for it had happened previously many times). And the man was a malk-oholic, so he bought 2% for himself and 1% for the other, for he drank not skim, and he mused to himself, "Should I run out first, and surely I shall for I am a malk-aholic, I can then drink the 1% that I bought for the other man." Yet the other man was wroth with him for not buying skim, saying it was not his favorite. And the malk-aholic vowed from that day forward to do the other man no favors.

Ok, it's not a parable. It's a true story. And when I say that I'm excited to graduate, it's not so much from BYU as it is from the bachelor pad. I'm sick of dude roommates. A permanent chica roommate surely ain't a smooth ride either, but at least then there will only be two people making the kitchen messy, and I'll only have to clean up after two people every other day.
So if there are any particularly desperate females reading this post, just give this number a call: 832-472-2204. I can't guarantee that you'll be the supremely lucky one, but you're almost guaranteed a shot at it.

Then again, maybe there's a cave somewhere with my name on it. I could take a paper out of the wizard of Ajziou's book ad just go full hermit... ha, I just referenced my own work!