Late Night Sports Corner

It's midnight on the day, technically after, that wretched singles awareness shpeel. Some people went on dates and stuff--good for them. I took a huge nap after visiting the temple this morning so I'm finding it a bit difficult to shut down for the night, so I thought I'd call on Mr. Sandman via another boring and horribly misinformed post about sports.
And what's going on in sports that's marginally interesting? Linsanity. That's about it.
So sure, I'll toss in my one cent about the whole shibang that has taken ESPN absolutely by storm, but only because he made a game-winning three tonight (last night?) that dropped a proverbial vat of jet fuel onto the proverbial fire that this kid has lit under the nation. I mean, six game winning streak with superstar-esque numbers, and some of us still think it's a flash-in-the-pan burst benefiting from the brief absence of established talent in Carmello and Amare? Are we all believers now, America?
I don't think Mr. Lin is going away anytime soon. Let me tell you why:
When I read the news about his game-winner tonight (last night), I felt like David... "Is this real life?" I mean, can the stars really align so magnificently for some nobody out of nowhere? The odds are way too off for this whole thing... It only confirms my deepest suspicions.

The NBA is rigged!*

These aren't basketball players... they're actors! This is no different from WWF or whatever they call professional smack talk nowadays. David Stern starts to panic from a lack of interest in a season that everybody feels wasn't supposed to happen. Combine the short and sudden schedule with the increasing taint of player selfishness and top-heavy star power in bigger markets (does Charlotte even still have a basketball team?) and Stern makes a call to all the owners, GM's, coaches, and relevant players: code Papale. Everybody make way for the spark that will ignite the fandom of the nation from their pre-NFL draft stupor! 

I'm on to you, Mr. Stern. For all my readers who actually read when I put the word "Sports" in the title, just remember you heard it first here. And I heard it first from Dave McKean. 

*Disclaimer: I don't truly believe the NBA is rigged... The Pistons and Spurs dominated too much of last decade to ever validate that conspiracy theory.