Racing Lightning

Some of you may be wondering why my bucket list is soooo small... Where's the ambition, right? Why even bother with a bucket list when there's only two grand goals of life?

First of all, I don't share all of my life's ambitions on a blog.
Secondly, perhaps it's because I am sooo ambitious that my bucket list is so small in the first place. Maybe I've already done most everything on there (besides the obvious--get married in the temple and raise my own basketball team and whatnot).
In fact, one of the items could have been become a famous author. Done and done. Reference? "A Booger Picker" written in 3rd grade by yours truly. It's about a kid who got made fun of for picking his boogers until he became the hero by making the girls squeal during quiet time, earning the boys earlier recess and lunch time. The elementary teachers still know me for that single work. The wikipedia page is coming soon.
Also, one of the items could have been to give such an epic wedgie that the underwear tears. Done and done... as of two Sundays ago.
Also, one of the items could have been to recover my dad's black painted astro-van with decorative flames from the car thief who took it. Done and done. I found it at the county fair where my best friend from high school had jacked it, and I introduced said friend to a nearby law enforcement officer. Boy did he feel sheepish! Of course, my dad doesn't really own a black astro-van with flames painted on it... in fact, all this happened in my dream last night, but that counts for my bucket list, right?
Also, one of those items could have been starring in a musical number as Galahad from "Spamalot." Not done... yet. Just wait til June...
Also, one of those items could have been writing a blog post on April 30th and stuff... done and...
Done.