Book of The Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 6:

1. And it came to pass that the man of little consequence did return to his former employ like a dog to his vomit or a cat to his undigested hairball.
2. And the people did rail against him, and did mock him, and did spat upon him, and did threaten him.
3. Yea, the spatting was indeed an exaggeration, for what meaneth it to 'spat' anyways?
4. Nevertheless he did go forth with confidence, and despite the tauntings and stiffneckedness, the hours seemed to him but only a fewer amount of hours for the joy he had.
5. For he did lie in his mind so many times that he came to believe that the work of an official was indeed tolerable.
6. Thus we learn from the man of little consequence that if thou shalt act enthusiastic, than thou shalt be enthusiastic! Eventually...

7. Now in the sixth semester since the great journey to the land of vanity and pride (or as some would say, California), the man did take a stick and began to study it.
8. And the truth of which end was shorter yet eluded him, for it seemed that the cubits from one end to the other were equal, regardless of which end he started from.
9. And the question remained, and all his studyings of math were in vain.

10. And it came to pass again that the man of little consequence did revel in cliches, such as the beginning of this verse.
11. And for all his prosperity in schooling and work, he was yet of a sad countenance.
12. And his roommates wondered what it was that caused his countenance to fall, and he answered them in poetic lament:
13. "For all the riches and knowledge of this world are but emptiness to me, and are nought save for the one woman who will esteem me as greater than a little consequence,
14. "And as of yet, they are all either non-existant or undesirable."
15. And his roommates did berate him, saying:
16. "For thy shallowness, thou shalt be cursed above all the single men in the land,
17. "On the hands and knees shalt thou go, and in the bushes shalt thou hide all the remainder of thy days in the land of a thousand talents.
18. "And thou shalt wont only for what thou canst not have, and forever be as a man who dreameth and drinketh water in his dreams, but awakens and is yet parched, or as a man who eateth lasagna in his dreams and awaketh only to remember he is a lowly and impovershed college student."

19. And the man knew that they had not authority to curse him, yet the truth was still hard.
20. For this, he knew then that whatever end of the stick was in his hands would be deemed the short end.

*Disclaimer: The views reflected in this particular chapter are mostly fictitious for your enjoyment, and do not reflect the true manner of Todd, which, as you know, is quite perpetually cheerful.