Sports Corner with a Dunce Cap

Here's the sports news that you don't hear from ESPN. Unbiased. Unproven. Underdogs. Well, maybe a little biased.

This just in: There are no good NFL teams. They all suck! It seems like every week, someone who you thought was good loses to a team that everyone acknowledges as being bad. Therefore, all the teams are bad. Bring in the replacements.

This is NOT Brett Favre's last year. Perhaps it's his last with the Vikings, but oh, he's not done. He can't end on a note like this, not with his pride. And I'd hate to see him go out on such a sour note. Despite everything that he's done and all sources pointing to a universally unlikeable guy, I kind of feel sorry for him... and last year's Vikings were pretty exciting, no? Besides, he can always come back, blaming all the bad kharma on injuries, when in reality, it's just bad kharma.

The NBA is no country for young men. Here's a shout out to the young guns of OKC: I still think you're underrated. On the other hand, the best records in the league belong to the Spurs, Lakers, and Celtics, each one being jam packed with geezers who still know how to get the job done. And the if the Lakers aren't overrated, then Kobe Bryant certainly is. It's all about the Cave Man now (Pow-wow Gas-hole), and his ugly grunts that put him at the line every time he misses a lay-up. He's the second most unfair player in the league. The first is Dirk.

And what is with Houston teams and the inability to finish? If there was a rating for "Most frustrated fans," I'm sure we'd get the number one spot. Well, maybe number two after New York (welcome, Knicks, to another decade of irrelevance). Get well soon, Yao.

Jimmy Johnson won his fifth straight cup, but that means about as much to me as a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin gettin' it on.

Good night, Provo! Soon I will awake and no longer be in the land of abominable fans. Actually, I think most of them are all pretty abominable anywhere you go. That's a personal issue though.