The Adventures of Adventure Haver!

Episode 2: Adventure Haver vs. the Ego Ridden Jersey Toting Gang of Miscreants that Aren't as Good at Basketball as they Think They Are

So it came around time for me to do my duty. I donned my super-hero outfit, in silver and black this time, and headed straight for the source of the trouble. The gang of Ego Ridden Jersey Toting Miscreants were at it again. Do these guys never quit? This time I enlisted the help of some sidekicks to help keep the peace, but it wasn't long before they were throwing Shakespearean insults at one another. "You infectious half-faced hedge-pig!" "You errant elf-skinned dewberry!" "You frothy fen-sucked mammet!" "You puking, pottle-deep foot-licker!" All I need was one blast from my super-sonic audible force mechanism, and then the fight was over. Well, it was over because now they were all looking at me to deliver the final insult. "You're all a bunch of weedy, tickle-brained strumpets!" The crowd went wild, and I began to bask in my victory.
But it was too early... (insert ominous sound effect here)
In my basking I failed to notice the projectile now sent straight for me in a last ditch effort by the miscreants to regain the playing field. It hit me right in the man factories. It hurt. A lot. I crumpled on the floor and they escaped, while my side-kicks just laughed at me.
Well, Adventure Haver (insert less enthusiastic sound effect here), you win some, you lose some. Until next time, you miscreants!!!! PUNT!