Why I Think the Muppets are Great

One of my favorite all-time movies is Muppet Treasure Island. I am also a huge fan of Muppet Christmas Carol, and most people think that's either real cute or deserving of another snip from my man card. Either way, I don't declare my allegiance to such Muppetries for your sake, and probably not for the reason you think either.


My favorite character on Muppet Treasure Island is not even a muppet, actually. It's a person. No, it's certainly not Kevin Bishop and his amazing falsetto/soprano. It's definitely Tim Curry. He makes such a good pirate! I know he's done weird things before, but I don't condemn his performance as Long John because of his trans-sexual character in another film. I only emulate his laugh and hope it can land me a job at Pirate Island in Orem for a dream come true.

"PIRATES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA... pirates...? Oh Jim, if that's what you're thinking, you're DEAD wrong!" (Insert musical number here)

As for the muppets, there's not a whole lot of 'em that entertain me. I can't stand Miss Piggy (shoot her please, Long John!) and Kermit is boring, Fozzy is cliche (though refreshingly stupid in MTI) and the rest of them are all the same. I enjoy the masochism of Gonzo and the running joke of his whateverness--something ruined by the awful "Muppets in Space"--and Rizzo is tolerable, being a cowardly glutton, much like myself. I would have to say my favorite Muppets are Statler and Waldorf--
"That was the speech!?" "It was dumb!" "It was pointless!" "It was obvious!" "It was short..."
"I Loved it!"

Followed in a close second by Animal, who almost single-handedly redeems the Great Muppet Caper with "Woman! Woman!"

Moral of the story: the Muppets have never been the same without Jim Henson, and they will never be the same again... until they do "Muppets Independence Day" or "Muppets Firefly" with guest star Nathan Fillion.