Since my return to my home state, my dreams have oft been filled with anxieties of eminent papers and deadlines for school, and I often wonder to myself within these dreams how I ended up back in my apartment in Provo with that same life after I could swear that I had finished that life long ago... as a man partaking in full reality, I knew those dreams would happen. Retro-visions, I call them. The ones of being in high school are pretty few and far between, but mission ones still happen quite often, and now BYU ones will surely inhabit my subconscious.
Does this mean that when I dream of being a dark wizard or a space pirate, that it is actually a re-glimpse of a previous life? Cool!
But now to last night... what a doozey! I usually don't recall three from one night, but last night...
The first involved me taking some sort of trip somewhere... a long trip. I was driving somewhere late at night and I couldn't recognize what state I was in because the shape of the state on the state highway signs was totally unfamiliar to me. Turns out it was Maryland... but some sort of bizarre Maryland located where Kentucky should be, being just above another state, Maryland Island. I found this out by looking at a bizarro world map, though it never occurred to me that I was in any sort of bizarro world. I began to contemplate either going back to Texas, which was about a six hour drive or going back to Provo, which was like 13. The math didn't really add up, but that didn't deter me from plotting a course for Texas, even though it was late at night. What was six hours more? So I drove South on this snaking highway which had large chunks of it missing, but I managed to manuever it just fine.
If this isn't some sort of symbolic foreshadow of my unclear future, I don't know what is...
The next moment I was in church in Lake Jackson. My mind was kind of fuzzy, so I somehow ended up going with the high priests for Priesthood meeting. I felt intense embarrassment (I never spell that word right) at the realization, so I decided to try and swim to the exit. Yup, swim. Priesthood meeting was being held in a giant room that was nothing but a swimming pool. There was just a bunch of old, shirtless, hairy men there talking the gospel, and me splashing around in the background. I managed to escape without notice, only to be further embarrassed by being discovered in my swim trunks by the primary kids, being led by an acquaintance of mine from BYU who will remain unnamed here.
And then I was riding around with my trainer from the mission, being actually on the mission... except here we were driving around in some deserted country like Arizona or something, and we were driving an astro-van. We were going to stop by some trashy family which my trainer told me were, quote, "Excited to see us, but last time I went there, they tried to poison me." We arrived to see a trashy family of a father and a few full grown sons. The father gave us a giant avocado, split down the middle and covered in some sort of green sauce, which occurred to me was redundant, being on an avocado and all. My trainer shrugged his shoulders and bit into the giant pit in the middle, but I hesitated long enough to see a huge bug pop out of the pit that split open like some alien cocoon. Gross! So I didn't eat it, and I refused the aspirin that one of the boys offered me, which might have saved us both as my trainer started feeling really strange after biting into that avocado. I managed to get us both back to the astro-van before I had to tell the trashy family off for trying to poison us and loot our van. It felt cool standing up for myself right then, but a gun fight ensued in which I'm pretty sure I got shot in the face, but I won. And then I tripped over some wiry cord which caused this helicopter to spin out of control and explode, and I'm pretty sure it was being piloted by Jamie Lee Curtis... How in the heck did (s)he get in my subconscious?
You know what, I guess this is what comes from a night of homemade lasagna. Perhaps a bit of undigested beef can cause the mind to cheat. Yes, there's more of gravy than of grave about you!
More than anything... where is Joseph and his dreamcoat when you need him?
4 comments:
Unnamed BYU acquaintance...I will just assume that it's me. That name that you shouted out under anesthesia when you were having your wisdom teeth out but wouldn't tell me? Also me.
Sorry Mary... if it was you, I would definitely say so. It wouldn't be nearly as awkward as the truth, but those people probably don't even read my blog anyways...
I think you need to call your therapist...
todd. this is my fave post. hilarious. and for reals, my dreams are like that every night. every night. it's awesome. seriously, thanks for sharing. i almost laughed out loud, but sitting with a bunch of unknown people, so it would have been embarrassing. but i'm pretty sure i made the table shake from my silent laughing.
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