Book of the Man of Little Consequence

Chapter 4:

1. And it was the end of the third month of the second year since the return of the man of little consequence. And the end of the semester drew nigh.
2. And this is a time of great stress; of weeping and wailing and gnashing of papers and chewing of pants and random bouts of loud laughter.
3. And the man of little consequence did howl and leap about the room, and spittle fell down into his beard, for he had not shaved in many days.
4. Three was the number of papers he had due, and the number of papers he had due were three.
5. Four was not the number of papers he had due, neither had he two excepting that he then proceeded to three.
6. Five is right out.

7. Then came the time for the man of little consequence to make decisions of great consequence.
8. But he shied away, for he was not ready to make great decisions, nor was he known for such.
9. And he continued to await the sign in which the miraculous delivery system (or, as some say, gmail account) would read, "EFY contracts available".
10. Behold! Twice has the sign appeared, but the second time was for a week far into the summer, isolated by surrounding undecided time as Gilligan's island.
11. For this his excitement was naught.

12. And it came to pass that he ate hamburger that had been opened in the fridge for nearly forty days, albeit forty is a bit of an exaggeration, though an accurate one.
13. And his stomach was wroth, and his head did spin.
14. And he spoke to the hamburger helper, "Almost, thou persuadest me to be a vegetarian".

15. And it came to pass that the man of little consequence did not complete his home teaching by the end of the month.
16. And it seemed as if he were cursed and his milk and ice cream became slippery to him.
17. But such was not so, for he only consumed such in vast quantities and forgot the joy shortly thereafter in the ensuing nausea.
18. And he left this blog for a time to consume the last of the cookies and cream.

19. And this law he kept above all others in the third month of the second year since his return- thou shalt be frugal! Thou shalt not shop when thou art a hungered, nor shalt thou spend frivolously thy time on video games.
21. This he kept in his heart as he enjoyed the day's third bowl of ice cream.
22. And the cookies and cream were no more.

23. The man of little consequence went forth to play basketball.
24. And an aquaintance, yet not a friend, of the man of little consequence was poked in the forehead so that he writhed and convulsed on the floor.
25. And the man of little consequence did ask, "What, wast thou indeed raised from thy childhood by pillows?"

26. And when he had returned from his date, his roommates did enquire of him, "Didst thou lose thine virgin lips?"
27. And he answered them in a parable saying:
28. "Which is more likely, that the man of little consequence would kiss a woman, or that he would one day go to school without wearing pants?"
29. And they answered, "The second".
30. And the man of little consequence replied, "Neither do I answer your question. Go now, and torment me no longer..."

31. This is the account of the third month of the second year of the man of little consequence.
32. And it is a somewhat altered version of truth, for this book is not a perfect book.
33. And the man of little consequence did grow hungry for his fourth bowl of ice cream, and feared making the keyboard exceedingly sticky, so he left off his record for a season.

Wired Hamsters

Here's your energy crisis solution America!

Cheeese!

Stuff is kind of a funny word...

So this weekend was some fun and stuff...
My roomy Colin (not pronounced colon) had a birthday, and so we celebrated it by eating Red Robins and stuff... and so then this guy got up on his chair and starting singing happy birthday and whatever... and that dude was most likely me. And endless steak fries are great, go eat at Red Robin's awesomeness.
And so afta that we went to a Nickelcade place and had fun and stuff... and this guy went crazy on the DDR machine and a bunch of people watched and a girl said "You guys are awesome" and stuff... and that guy was probably me with my buddy Justin.
And so we got back and ate ice cream and cupcakes and Wii, but we didn't eat the Wii we just played it and stuff... and then Friday was over.
And so on Saturday, I did laundry and watched Australia which is a really long movie, there's some smashing acting... and then I went to the temple...

Serious note interruption: Thinking much about my summer and what plans I should make, a lot of it hinged upon my getting accepted to EFY or not... which I interviewed for over seven weeks ago. So I prayed and asked the Lord to let me know by the end of this week. So by Saturday, if I'm in, I'm in, and if I'm not... well, how does a summer semester sound?

...and then there was this Black Tie Affair in our ward so I showed up in boots and blue jean pants (with a white shirt and tie) and nobody got it. Do you get it? And then Saturday was over...

So Sunday I made some jello.

Finally, to end on a less silly note, I was offered three contracts for EFY on Monday. Boom, answered.

Get Over It!

I'm coming to grips with the fact that being a die-hard Rockets fan costs a lot of emotional chips... wasted emotional chips. For those loyal Houstonians reading this blog who cheer for the big China Man in red, we are no stranger to disappointment, are we?
So why am I so into it? Why is it that few things make me angrier than the countless second halves that the Rockets tank? Why did I blow a fuse yesterday when the Rockets lost to the best team in the NBA? Why am I so caught up with all these teams that I am not a part of?
On a bright note, the Jazz lost! Woo hoo! People think they are the biggest threat to the Lakers... HELLO, 1-11 versus winning teams on the road (of which they have 9 more)!
Anyways, I'm getting over the angry fits associated with this unhealthy obsession. Does that mean I am no longer a Rockets fan? Absolutely not... But if they win, they win, and if they lose, they lose. It really doesn't have a whole lot to do with me if you think about it. So, best regards to Yao and my favorite players on the floor. Your losses will no longer ruin my days.

In unrelated news, shocking trends show BYU upper-classman girls that are not steadily dating someone by the end of the first month of Winer Semester opt to study abroad or go on missions, leaving unfortunate RM's in a tight situation.

The Purple Cobras stay consistent by losing their last game to a team of five players by 34 points. Previous margins of victory were 37, 37, 36, and 35.

Costs of laundry increase as garments and socks disappear. Suspects include roommates and Andrew.

Finally, I apologize if anyone is not a fan of the current music playing. I'm on a country kick right now, so if you don't like, then just buy me a new pair of pants.

Aminals

Here's some pictures from the zoo. I realized afterward maybe I should have got more people... oh well.

Are these not some sweet pictures of the cougars? BYU blue!

A wolf.

A leopard.

Frogs used to be my favorite aminals. Now I think my favorite aminal is a cabbit.

What's the monkey looking at?

A shiny camera.

Normally, you see these kind of things in your house... or at least I will someday.

But if I could take anything home as a pet... it would be this crazy squirrel! He was nuts... snicker.

The elephant display looked quite real.

And sometimes, the monkeys are just straight up depressing.

Concerning Asians

Some random things that have happened as of late:
I lost my I-clicker for the second time. That means I will have spent over a hundred dollars on I clickers. I also left my hair gel, deodorant, and a dirty pair of garments on campus somewhere... I might just go to school one day having completely forgotten my pants... on a warmer day when I won't notice the draft as much.
I was walking through the Wilkinson center today when I thought I heard someone whispering my name. I turned around and it was just an Asian. He wasn't whispering my name, he was just whispering in Asian.
I was cleaning the vacuums today at work and I dropped the hose and it landed on the trigger and shot directly into my face. It was awesome.
Last Friday was Justin's birthday, so we went to a place called "Jump On It" which is like a place covered with trampolines--injuries waiting to happen. Two of my roommates hurt themselves, but despite my best efforts, I escaped unscathed.
One time I skipped watching Lost to go play a water-polo game, but none of the girls showed up so we forfeited. I wrote them ALL warm and fuzzy notes saying the same thing:

Thanks for coming to the water polo game!
Wait...
Toddd

So I missed the last game to go to Justin's birthday party. I got two warm and fuzzy notes this Sunday that said:

Thanks for coming to the water polo game!
Oh wait...
Respective Girl

To top it all off, I went on Two dates with two different girls on Saturday. Neither was Asian, but we did watch Kung Fu Panda for the second one!