What's Yours Like?

So I came to the library with the intention of writing some of this explicatively large paper for my Senior Course. Maybe by midnight or so, I'll have got around to it.
Instead, I'd like to just say something else. I have been growing a mustache again... gross. BUT, today in class I asked the profesor if I could get credito extra for it, and he said no and THAT is the reason the brostache was grown in the first place... kinda. What, then, is the reason for it now? Is it there to keep my upper lip warm? Is it there to act as a sort of X-Man power like the really bad toupee in repelling wind, water, and especially young ladies? Is it there to make me feel a little more like Ignacio when I take on the difficulties of life? Or is it simply a result of waning sanity? (Let's not jump to conclusions)
Either way, el bigote, para mi, es como el vaso alto de agua... o es como se llevando una chaqueta amarilla... o es como el color azúl...