Beware the Ides of June!

Some strange things have been happening lately. Ill omens haunt my every step.
Last week, I was at Helaman Halls waiting for some kids to get done with volleyball so my roommate and I could take the courts with a bunch of friends. All of the sudden, a huge fire springs up next to the pavilion. We were all asking ourselves, "Is there supposed to be a fire there?" I think our question was answered when a fire truck showed up five minutes later after the players had thrown enough sand on the inferno to douse it. That really happened! Wierd. We asked them what happened to cause the fire, and they said, "It just started." Spontaneous combustion.

A few days later I was on a plane headed to Chicago. As I grow old, I find plane rides increasingly uncomfortable... and scary. As we went through about two hours of turbulence (probably more like half an hour, but it felt like two) and stormy skies, I looked out the window and saw naught but darkness and lightning. All I could think of then was Lost, or Castaway, or Alanis Morissette...

A few plane rides later, I found myself still alive and back at BYU's library where I was typing away when I heard something like someone dropping a gang of books behind me. I turned around and the girl sitting at the computer directly behind mine was on the floor. She was unconscious and making these horrifying little groaning noises. I froze. Someone shouted "Call 9-1-1!" I had a coherent thought about this time, "You don't need 9-1-1, it's just a seizure." Well, maybe not too coherent. Anyways, she came to in a minute or so and security came to her aid, so I thought my work there was done and I left promising myself to stay extra hydrated this summer.

For the most ill and final of omens (so far) I batted 0.000 at my first intramural softball game. I didn't even advance any runners! Et tu, softball? I hit it straight to the first baseman every time... So, if you added infinity more zero's to that 0.000, you'd still have my batting average spot on. So much swinging and so little success... why universe!? What is it you are trying to tell me?

There's only one thing to do to prepare for whatever calamity awaits... sniff some dishwasher soap and watch Avatar reruns.