FREEDOM!!

After finishing the two tests (Psychology rather poorly), I felt like leaving the testing center and shouting in total Braveheart style "FREEEEDOM!!!" How ironic that in a few weeks, I will be stressing over the same subjects again... But for now, I will enjoy obligation-less life. That's a good feeling, you know... but only for so long. I still remember this summer...
I knew how to do ALL of the calc test save taking the derivatives of arctangent and arccotangent, so I feel good about it. Of course, I've felt good about things before, and then I've been severely disappointed later. What else was awkward is I was concentrating so hard on the test in the testing center, I failed to notice my knees were on the girl's butt sitting in front of me for, it must have been like ten minutes. Oops!

Math Lab Marathon

So I'm getting ready to enter the arena of Calc testing for the second time, but this time that nasty algebra won't catch me so off guard! I've got a goal to put in TEN hours of study, so if I fail again, I'll seriously consider being a hobo for Halloween... in preperation for life.
It all began yesterday at the math lab... putting in even four hours there is quite the effort. Between dosing off and struggling with the abstract formulas, I knew I would have to take frequent breaks. And to my delight I found a wonderful nutritious dinner waiting for participaters in a certain seminar. Having no intention to attend said seminar, I helped myself to cake and cheese cubes. Finally, at 5:30, the chapter review was done, and I headed off to work to clear my head.
Six more hours... at least.

The Weekend Continues

I knew I wasn't going to spend much time at home today... which was probably a good thing.
The day went as planned, work came and went with a frosty breeze to boot, and then it was game time! BYU was dominating by the time I had got my fill in of observing the officials on the field (did you know there are SEVEN?) and had to take off to go to Salt Lake with my buddy from the mission, Matt Yancey. We planned on hitting the seven o'clock LIVE endowment session, but an unexpected snow storm greatly hindered our progress. So we arrived 15 minutes later than the expected time, which was enough to miss our session... bummer. However, we knew the night wasn't wasted when we got a referral! This lady was asking us how she could get into the temple. "Easy," I said, "You just have to get baptized." The dynamic duo of Elders Martin and Yancey strikes again! We totally went back to the days of the mission! And we were getting snowed on the whole time. We ended up watching the Joseph Smith movie. I hadn't seen it in over a year, and I had this perpetual lump in my throat pretty much the whole movie. Maybe that's where your body stores all your manly tears you never shed... So afterwards, we talked to some sister missionaries and visited the tabernacle. Then we found out that sessions went til 8:00 on Saturdays too. Well, we live we learn. I'm still looking forward to a live session.
More interesting trivia: Did you know there is the big dipper on one side of the temple? It's symbolic of a few things, the main one I'd suppose having to deal with the North Star.

Weekend of Promise

It's a little sad that this posting is beginning to take the place of my real journal... now all I can write in my notebook is the REAL personal stuff...
This time last weekend, I was home alone and doing homework. Today, and tomorrow, will be quite a bit different. I went on a date for the first time since homecoming about four or five weeks ago. It was simple and fun, with a girl from my home stake. And it was her birthday... hopefully I made it happy! So I feel good that I took advantage of my first weekend off of work in a while. It payed off, though I hope dad will understand when I need him to reinburse me because funds are short due to dating splurges...
Tomorrow is a full day! The morning begins with football, where I will be the one throwing flags, then after I do some errands, I will watch a REAL referee throw flags at the BYU game, and then I'll hopefully get to attend a live session in Salt Lake. It's been a while since I've been to the temple. I need it.
So the blessings of the Lord are pouring in! I am probably ten times less frustrated than last week, and all I had to do was hold out, knowing that the Lord answers prayers... in His time.
The only bummer about today was that I missed Avatar again...

Officially Employed

For the first time in my life, I am recieving paychecks for my own labor... what an exciting thing! Especially since I'm exempt from taxes! But was I in over my head when I signed up?
First of all, the skyroom... not really worth mentioning actually. My REAL job involves putting on neutral gray, arming myself with a Fox40 whistle and a yellow flag, and taking on the fragile egos of hundreds of BYU students and Utah residents battling for nothing more than a meaningless win-loss record among fellow students. What a silly thing to do right? If you know me, my cheeful attitude and whimsical ways don't seem to measure up to official BYU intramural official, but I actually quite enjoy it! When people ask me what I do for work, I can proudly say "I run up and down a field and get yelled at." The pay is not bad, it keeps me in shape, and most of all, it is a challenge. I am taken back to the days of the mission where I experience the sort of indirect anger directed towards what I represent than more to me, but it's still tough for a sensitive soul like me so unaccustomed to having to take a stand for my decisions, even if I know they are wrong. Therefore, I grow, and growth is what life is all about, right? Progression... I'd like to say my work helps me draw closer to Heavenly Father... surely it helps me to serve Him better. I struggle, and it's during these times of struggle that I'm closest to Him (like when I was a 150 pound linebacker on my varsity highschool football team).
The only complaint I would have is the restraint of time it puts on me. I can't participate in all the wonderful extra things that happen throughout the week from 6-10 (like a capella club or latin dance club or muppet club), and my Friday nights are almost always shot. Thus my social life is pot... but who knows if it would be any different? My grades are a bit iffy at the moment too. But it'll all work out.
So this Thanksgiving, I'll be watching everyone extra close for that silly flag guard call... and illegal contact, though I might tackle Pete again just for kicks and giggles...

The Bright Light

Did I mention I reffed for four hours in the freezing rain Friday night? It feels so much like Christmas already... for me.
So I spent most of the 177th semi-annual general conference at Jake and Lindsey's place. It was awesome. This time of year always seems to weigh so heavily on the souls of men (at least on my soul, even in the mission) that conference brings a wonderful reminder of the promise I am so fond of in 3 Nephi 22:10 (or Isaiah 54, I think): "The mountains shall depart and the hills shall be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, nor shall the covenant of my peace be removed, sayeth the Lord who hath mercy on thee." Roughly memorized... I have a lot of prayers up in the air right now it seems, and now I know that they will be answered, only not in my time, but in the Lord's. Everything will turn out all right. I know this. It's happened to me time and time again.
I got to attend the Priesthood session in Salt Lake with my roomies, and I also had the opportunity to attend the Sunday afternoon session, though I turned it down. There were eight tickets, and I felt like I should give four of my roommates the opportunity to take dates. And some of them failed... but oh well, I'd rather be here with my family than with them. The social life will come in time... in the Lord's time. Does that sound odd?
Well, I'm ready for a new week now, with new grades and opportunities, as well as new trials and disappointments. Such is the calling of an ordinary guy amongst an extraordinary people and with extraordinary responsibilities.

The Battle Rages On

Do you ever get that feeling of completeness where everything falls into place so perfectly and all is seemingly well? Do you know how it feels to have that feeling replaced with disappointment and struggle? I'm sure you do.
Such was the week. All was going so well, as I continued to dominate subjects in school like Trigonometry, Psychology, Religion, and Calculus. Work was great as usual, and social life was progressing... What more could I ask for? Well, there's obvious things, but for the moment, all was well in Zion.

Then I got my test back for ARTHC today...

Well, it happens. You live, you learn. My confidence now shattered (temporarily, it'll be back soon), I am left to wonder... is it really fair? Considering the time and steps I put into preperation, am I just destined to struggle constantly in school? Perhaps it's a shadow of the struggles I am bound to face in work... relationships... life... It's so hard. Yet my roomy is out with people every night and still scores at least a 3.6 GPA. What is it about me?

Taking it all in, I don't mean to sound discouraged... I'm just feeling reflective. I do that sometimes. But I rejoice in the struggles of life, though they may temporarily knock the wind out of me. What can one do but work harder, be stronger, and do it right?
Bring it on Professor Johnson. Life only gets better!

Facing the Giant

Last week marked the beginning of one period of midterms. I took them on with no fear, doing reasonably well, but this week there was one left to do. The dreaded Calcu... I cannot say sufficing to know my ears cannot hear it! (That's a rip off of the knights of ni in case you didn't catch that). Well, today was the day, and it took me three hours plus a bucket of stress with the few problems I still couldn't decipher despite long hours in the math lab and two one-on-one sessions with my teacher. And faithful attendence in class.
Thus it is, I'm not sure how I did just yet, but that weight is off my shoulders. Now I am free to salsa dance to Michael Buble all day in my apartment! Which I'm doing right now, though it's hard to type at the same time.